Category: Television/Short Subject Reviews

Creepy but predictable.  A good episode…doesn’t really give you more than you expect, but at least it delivers well on that.

Really horrible acting and poor-at-best writing make up the “sketches” in between the horrible movies. 

The “star”, Jami Deadly, is as bad as all the rest of the cast.  She’s got a sort of a wanna-be Elvira, wanna-be Crypt Keeper mixture going on.

It’s like going to a local club for sketch comedy on a bad night.  And if you watch more than one of these just to make sure it wasn’t a temporary blip…well let’s say, very kindly, that you’re a very trusting and also very desperate soul.

I only watched the host segments, and only a few of them.  So, take it as an incomplete…but mainly take it as “So bad from what I saw that I’m gonna switch to ‘Manos'”

DO NOT be fooled by people who compare this to MST3K, or even Elvira.  Or Joe Bob Briggs.  Or anyone currently on the air that doesn’t suck.  It’s DULL…and it only got life, IMPO, because people were jonesing for some MST3K.

Tim Roth stars in this one as a REALLY creepy painter.  Good acting by him…decent theory…well done.  I particularly like the “cops with dogs” scene that Roth TRIES to stay calm about.  Cuz they KNEW, man…they could smell it.

I still prefer ‘A Maid On A Night Out Winding A Grandfather’s Clock With Her Left Hand’.  Not to mention Michelangelo’s ‘Two Muscular Guys Touching Fingers’.  And, of COURSE, ‘Dogs Playing Poker’.

Jon Lovitz, simply by appearing in it, automatically makes this one silly…especially when he goes for angry/menacing. 

The plot and extras make up for that somewhat, so it’s marginal.

AC-ting! Yeah, yeah…that’s the ticket.

Insane brother doctor takes revenge on a$$hole brother doctor.

Basically you get to see lots of corpse(?)-cam/commentary.

Man seeks to convince people he’s dead, then reconsiders very strongly.

A bit fun in a macabre way.  Bruno Kirby helps.

12 year old orphan is adopted by a weird couple with an extra guy along for the ride.  Good buildup, somewhat disappointing ending. 

Larry Drake (Dr. Giggles) plays the normal one of the three adults. I KNOW, right?

Curly describes their house: “This ain’t a bad lookin’ dump…”
Moe concurs: “Reminds me of the penthouse we were thrown out of.”

Darkly comic/ironic take on Siamese Opposites.

Morton Downey Jr. and film crew investigate a pablum-puking haunted house.  He was relevant then, so it’s that much more funny.

Needless to say, the house is not as harmless as MorHorton thinks.

Harry Anderson draws comics that are a little too realistic.  Fairly humorous, actually, which is appropriate for Harry.

Nasty Bible/Thomas Jefferson-quoting mortician does everything disgustingly possible to save money and alienate his nephew.

More than enough for you to be glad when he is defeated.

The old multiple body switcheroo.  Carol Kane is good as part of a funny/psychotic couple.

A voodoo love potion brings eternal “love”, even after death.  A good watch for zombie fans and necrophiliacs.  Gruesome and cheezy…more cheezy.

Ultimate Gambling from the William J. Le Petomane Memorial Gambling Casino for the Insane.

This episode is a giant step forward in the portrayal of the insane gambler.

Very gently-twisted creepy love story, for the romantic psycho.

“She seems to have worked out an infallible method for assuring permanent male fidelity. Interesting.” – Spock

A man uses his scientifically-granted Nine Lives to perform some dumb sideshow tricks.  Brilliant.

Featuring one of Tommy Lee Jones’ sidekicks from ‘The Fugitive’.

Clever and dark.

A woman from Kirk’s past switches bodies with him to gain power and revenge.  The crew suspects something is wrong almost immediately, and the suspicion keeps growing, leading to lots of interesting conflict, especially involving Spock.

A pretty good episode, not just for season 3…a solid series ending.

Highlights:
Spock/McCoy discussion
Dr. Lester/Kirk convincing Spock
Spock’s trial for mutiny
Spock in general
mutiny escalation

Lowlights:
all the months/years of training…OOPS!
Kirk’s overacting
Kirk’s fey acting
minor penalty for Dr. Lester’s mass murder

Spockism: “No, Sir. I shall not withdraw a single charge that I have made. You are not Captain Kirk. You have ruthlessly appropriated his body, but the life entity within you is not that of Captain Kirk. You do not belong in charge of the Enterprise and I shall do everything in my power against you.”

Kirk and Spock on a planet where the people are separated into elite (cloud city) and workers (mines).  Interesting idea, clumsily executed.

One of the most marginal ones I decided to review…I was desperate near the end.

Highlights:
hot trog – she can act, too!
Kirk’s interesting resolution

Lowlights:
some of Spock’s out-of-character musings and words

Kirk is transported into an empty duplicate of the Enterprise, where he meets a woman from a vastly overpopulated planet (Gideon).  Meanwhile Spock bickers politely with a bureaucrat.

It’s not bad, but I never think to myself “I REALLY wanna watch THAT one.”

Highlights:
Spock’s diplomacy
moment of synchronicity
weirdness

Lowlights:
Kirk’s moments of crew apathy
really dumb number oversight
Gideon’s really dumb attempted solution

Basically this is Trek’s way of making an obvious statement on the stupidity of racism while still getting around the 60’s censors.

A guy who’s white on one half and black on the other meets the same, only switch halves.  They hate each other and the Enterprise crew observes their mutual hatred and propaganda.  Good message, ok episode.

Highlights:
guest actors
chat over drinks
ending

Lowlights:
UNNECESSARY ZOOM!!!
longgggg destruct sequence
“go ahead”???
Spock’s play-by-play

Spockism: “To expect sense from two mentalities of such extreme viewpoints is not logical.”

Kirk and Spock visit a mental asylum and encounter a former starship captain who now considers himself Master of the Universe.  And, of course, he tries to take over the Enterprise. 

Very flawed but quite interesting.

Highlights:
Garth
Marta
Kirk vs. Garth
very interesting (if stupid) resolution

Lowlights:
the dance
weird uggo prisoner line
the coronation
bad continuity

Spockism: “On the contrary, you were treated with justice and compassion, which you failed to show towards any of your intended victims…”

An arranged marriage to make peace between two planets depends on “instructing” a rather savage leader of one of the planets.  Lots of interesting interaction between Kirk and Elaan.  And then there’s sabo2G to set up the necessary secondary plotline (imminent destruction).  A good one.

Highlights:
Elaan
Kirk’s accurate assessment
Kirk vs. Elaan
Kirk w/ Elaan…ROWR!

Lowlights:
very little Spock action

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy have to try to escape from a planet where (almost) everyone has the power of mental domination and uses it at will and with total disregard for the dominated.

One of the best third-season episodes.  Also features the Kirk/Uhura kiss.

Highlights:
Alexander
the mood
interesting/disturbing scenes
Spock’s musings/reckonings

Lowlights:
some silliness

Spockism: “Whose harmony? Yours? Plato wanted truth and beauty, and above all, justice.”

The Enterprise has to change the path of an asteroid/spaceship whose people think they’re living on a real world.  Decent but unexciting.

Highlights:
old man
Natira

Lowlights:
not nearly enough highlights

A creature that feeds on hate traps Klingons on the Enterprise and tries to make everyone kill each other over and over.

It’s an interesting premise and a decent episode, especially for season 3.

Highlights:
Kang
believable emotional outbursts
tense mood

Lowlights:
cr@ppy ending

Very flawed but I have a strange affinity for this one.

Landing party gets sent to a Tombstone, AZ re-creation to take part in the ‘Gunfight at the O.K. Corral’ – as the losers.

Highlights:
the premise
guest acting
the mood
the score (hey, it’s cool)
some very interesting exchanges

Lowlights:
moments of obvious stupidity
moments of dumb bickering

Spockism: “History…cannot be changed.”

Kirk and Spock go “undercover” to get a Romulan cloaking device.  It probably was much more interesting when it first came out, but without the suspense it’s just a mildly interesting episode.

Highlights:
the premise
Spock’s performance

Lowlights:
dull lulls

The Enterprise meets Gary Seven in the 20th Century, and has to decide if he’s there for good or evil.  Vaguely remembered as “one of those 20th Century earth episodes”, this one is a bit better than season one’s.

Highlights:
cute but ditzy secretary
Gary Seven
fairly interesting ending

Lowlights:
not particularly exciting or sci-fi

The Enterprise installs a new computer that supposedly will replace manned starships.  It does increasingly naughty/illogical things until Kirk and Co. have to try to destroy it.  Lots of cheeze, but I really like it.

Highlights:
good premise
Spock vs. McCoy
most of Daystrom’s input
landing party drama
Spock’s insult explanation
interesting non-fascination
Spock vs. McCoy again

Lowlights:
Wesley’s acting
Kirk’s sailing ramblings
Daystrom’s insane musings near the end with SCARY music
cheezy resolution

Spockism: “Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them.”

A Federation observer corrupts a planet into a new Nazi Germany, trying to bring order (success) while leaving out the hateful racism and propaganda (failure).

Highlights:
Spock’s helmet reveal
Spock’s barn confusion
a clip joint-RUFF!
Spock’s revelation
Isak the Zeon
epilogue

Lowlights:
given the premise, not as good as it could have been
weak heils and chants, on and on and on…
weak ending

Spockism: “Captain, I’m beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling – no matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain exhilaration in the risk.”

The Enterprise encounters a massive single-celled entity that appears to drain the life out of everything and everyone it comes near.

A decent episode.

Highlights:
antici…
McCoy/Spock decision
McCoy/Spock interaction
Spock’s calm reports

Lowlights:
a bit of over-long over-drama
pation – dumb ending

Spockism: “Tell Dr. McCoy he should have wished me luck.”

The Enterprise visits a planet whose culture is based entirely on one book about Chicago gangs of the 1920’s.

Intentionally amusing, with lots of heavy cheeze.  Kirk and Spock especially have fun with the concept.

Highlights:
Scotty’s “heater” confusion
Spock’s helpful near-ruining of plan
Spock’s slight radio miscalculation
good guest acting
car hijinx
Kirk’s sudden accent/grammar changes

Lowlights:
one blatantly stupid Fizzbin contradiction

The feel-good equivalent of ‘The City On The Edge Of Forever’. 

By that I mean it’s the best feel-good Trek episode ever, and ‘City’ is the best dramatic one ever.  Sort of like Trek movies IV and II.

Highlights:
Chekov’s quips/personality
Under-Secretary Baris
Spock’s easy override of dismissal
Trelane’s return as Klingon commander
Klingon second-in-command
Spock’s commentary throughout
A fat Tribble
second-in-command’s inspired provocation
Scotty’s explanation
cuteness factor
a lotta’ will
Tribble avalanche
perceptive Tribbles
ending humility

Lowlights:
Not particularly “exciting”…but that’s intended
some over-feel-good dramedy
overlong barroom brawl
convenient plot conclusion

Spockism: “They do not talk too much.  If you’ll excuse me, Sir.”

Flawed but very interesting.  It’s the Jack The Ripper one, using the theory that He was in fact an It, surviving through centuries, taking physical form briefly to kill and then disappearing, moving on.

Highlights:
the premise
Mr. Hengist
Scotty doing some decent acting
creepiness
empathic revelation/pained revulsion
logical pattern to Hengist
Spock’s Pi compulsion
happy death murmurs

Lowlights:
blow on the head cr@p
Redjac’s stupidity
some interrogation melodrama/stupidity

Spockism: “In the strict scientific sense, Doctor, we all feed on death…even vegetarians.”

Landing party meets some REALLY old young people.

Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and someone else become infected with a disease that causes massively increased aging, Chekov does not.  The struggle is to find a cure before they die of old age.  The subplot is Kirk’s failing command abilities, leading to a hearing on his competence.

Highlights:
Two infected people in the intro
Chekov’s quips
Kirk’s quick nap
Spock’s loyalty
McCoy’s quick nap
Spock’s truly dramatic performance/reactions
good old corbomite

Lowlights:
tepid Kirk/lady-of-the-week romance
some old overacting
overly dramatic hearing
Kirk’s really bad old performance/reactions
McCoy’s lip-licking

There’s a big plot here, of course…near destruction, so on. 

But the real attraction is Spock and his parents: their interactions, and the interactions of others with/around them.

Highlights:
Sarek
emphasis on Spock
a teddy bear!
opposition to survival odds estimation
Spock vs. his mother (truly dramatic)
interesting background on Spock
great ending

Lowlights:
Kirk’s HAIKIBA! kick and sloowwwww recovery
Kirk’s episode summation
sadly-easy combat resolution

Spockism: “Humans smile with so little provocation.”

The Enterprise shuttlecraft gets pulled down onto a planet where they meet Zefram Cochrane and “The Companion”.  Relatively low-key, very few players. I find it interesting, though…truly touching, at times.

Highlights:
Zefram Cochrane
inter-species love story

Lowlights:
Ending

An android takes over the Enterprise and takes it to a planet where Harry Mudd rules supreme.  Not quite the second coming of Khan, but it’s not bad. Especially compared to the first Mudd episode, which stunk.

LOTS of silliness, but it’s mildly interesting.

Highlights:
Spock’s danger confirmation
Chekov’s android interaction
Uhura’s monologue
Spock’s fascination
Spock’s explanation of logic

Lowlights:
Stella interactions
some of the silliness
smoking Norman
cr@ppy ending

Spockism: “Nowhere am I so desperately needed as on a shipload of illogical humans.”

Highs:
Rain In The Face
head like Napoleon
convenient ladder
conspicuous (derived from the Latin)
Curly’s free kiss
shakin’ the tootsies
impromptu dance
insufficient rat poison
brief banquet
Curly’s defiance

Lows:
initial pest placement
cat placement
cat piano
piano gags
ending

Grade: B-

12/11/16: Good stuff. And they’re not afraid to tackle politics. Grade: B

A long leech-shaped object with a glowing center slices, dices, and eats planets!

The conflicts are between two ships and said object, and (more interestingly) members of the crew and Commodore Decker.

Highlights:
most of Decker’s performance
Spock’s performance
interpersonal conflict
ending – nicely dramatic

Lowlights:
battle scene(s) conflict
Decker’s ending overacting

Spockism: “Vulcans never bluff.”

A planet that seems beautiful is explored, with dangerous results.  Then they find a group of people that worship a snake-head god type thing.

Extremely marginal.  Just barely worth reviewing, really…and only because of Spock’s contributions.

Highlights:
relaxed explanation of the word “kill”
Kirk’s ending Satan joke/Spock’s reaction

Lowlights:
extended redshirts death intro

Spockism: “I submit there is no cause for worry.  They’ve taken the first step – they’ve learned to kill.”

Well, til now. Sorta. :P

‘Punch Drunks’ – It’s got moments, but sometimes it’s REALLY dull. Watch it once if you must.

‘Disorder In The Court’ – Same. Better, but when I did these I didn’t review anything lower than a B-. And this would be lower.

Kirk and a few others beam up into an alternate universe and meet Evil Spock.  And evil others; but Spock is the key, like he usually is.

Moments of stupidity, but mostly quite interesting.

Highlights:
the premise
Spock/Evil Spock
general mood
Kirk/Evil Spock interaction
Kirk’s speech – truly moving, really

Lowlights:
Kirk’s amazing cheezy revelation/weak cheezy reactions to it
weak Evil supporting reactions on the Good Enterprise
Kirk’s “romance”
fitting in Marlena
sad DRAMATIC combat
sad DRAMATIC Uhura/music

Spockism: “I do not threaten, Captain.  I merely state facts.”

Another second-tier favorite. 

The Enterprise encounters “Nomad”, a slightly altered version of a known probe that is now seeking out “perfect” life forms and destroying all others.  Kirk and company try to deal with it before it kills everyone.

Highlights:
a whole lotta Nomad
Spock’s Nomad indignation
a lot of interesting lines and conflicts
bluey?
the last 10-11 minutes, really

Lowlights:
long mental probing of Nomad
sudden, convenient episode name

Spockism: “Your logic was impeccable, Captain.  We are in grave danger.”

The Enterprise meets Apollo on a distant planet.  He wants them to stay and worship him, Kirk of course does not comply.  Really stupid in parts, but it has some good moments.  Watch the ending, at least.

Highlights:
Apollo’s rage
interesting theory on the Greek Gods
Chekov again
Apollo’s wistfulness
Kirk providing me with great pleasure by annoying CA/A’s
truly dramatic ending

Lowlights:
INCREDIBLY stupid intro intro, especially McCoy’s commentary
low Spock quotient

Spockism: “Insults are effective only where emotion is present.”

Spock enters “mating time”.  So events lead up to that battle between Jim Carrey and Matthew- No, ummm, not quite. 

But it’s got the battle, and the DRAMATIC music (lots of it), and lots more.  It’s actually quite interesting, often dramatic, and even moving at times…the whole episode, not just the climax.

Highlights:
Spock’s performance
Chekov and his quips
very interesting ideas
real drama
cool first weapon
Spock’s logical/emotional outburst
Ending

Lowlights:
stalking nurse
cheezy unreal drama
cr@ppy second weapon

Spockism: “After a time, you may find that “having” is not so pleasing a thing after all, as “wanting”.  It is not logical, but it is often true.”

It’s got a really stupid episode name!

Besides that, it’s the one with the noisy, semi-flying jellyfish that take over human hosts and eventually drive them insane.  Fairly interesting.

Highlights:
focus on Spock

Lowlights:
jellyfish blobs
the obvious escaping everyone several times

Spockism: “It is proving to be an inconvenience…but it is manageable.”

My favorite episode ever, just ahead of ‘The Trouble With Tribbles’.  Kirk and Spock must travel back in time to prevent McCoy from changing history and thus negating their own existence.  Interesting premise, great execution…a minimum of cheeze, and lots of interesting scenes and lines.

Highlights:
The Guardian of Forever
Much of Spock’s commentary
possible icemen sighting!
Kirk doing some actual ACTING
Edith Keeler
actual emotional involvement

Lowlights:
Spock’s brief out-of-character emotional outburst

Spockism: “He knows, Doctor.  He knows.”

One of my non-Favorites (‘The Trouble With Tribbles’, “The City On The Edge Of Forever’) favorites. 

Kirk and Spock are trapped on a planet of seemingly placid humans who seem unconcerned by the sudden outbreak of war between Federation and Klingons, even when the Klingons occupy their planet.  The contrast between the extreme conflict and the peaceful occupants is quite interesting, if somewhat cheezy.  Hey, it’s Star Trek.

Highlights:
Commander Kor
Kirk/Spock’s confusion/frustration
Spock’s accuracy
ending

Lowlights:
random inconsistent castle
“go climb a tree”????

Spockism: “I should say the Organians are as far above us on the evolutionary scale as we are above the amoeba.”

People are being killed by an unknown creature at a mining colony, and the Enterprise is called to investigate.  It’s a bit more complex than that makes it seem, in a good way.  A bit unusual for a Trek episode, in terms of setting/plot, and not the most exciting, but it’s not bad.

Highlights:
focus on Spock
Spock’s emotional concern for Kirk
cute doggyish movements
admirable maternal instinct

Lowlights:
creature costume

Spockism: “It seems logical, Captain.  The Horta has a very logical mind.  And after close association with humans, I find that curiously refreshing.”