Maternal Instinct Warning

In a very distant-past post entitled “Maternal Instinct”, there is an audio file that I have just realized is infected with some sort of virus.

My antivirus software displayed the problem in advance when I attempted to play it today (good stuff) so there was no effect.

However, for the benefit of anyone ELSE out there that might be even possibly thinking of listening to it…don’t.

I’m a firm believer in (peaceful, of course) massive retaliation, though, so don’t worry…I’ll get a nice cleanpristine version and upload it here and on my Facebook account. And maybe every month or so I’ll re-post it. And get a custom-made t-shirt and fliers made. “Cuz I’m stupid like that.”

I was bored and depressed. Thanks for giving me motivation!

“Like it? … I fcken LOVE it!!!”

– Puppy

P.S. – Original post was made about eleven years ago, and no complaint has ever been made concerning it.

– Puppy

1950s Let’s Make A Sandwich

Flickery.

I think that’s the same girl from ‘A Date With Your Family’.

Not her best work.

Two boys gobble and gulp down cr@p at the beginning and end.

It’s pretty short, so if you wanna watch something that could not possibly in any way offend you and that will make you feel better in comparison…

*shrug*

As with most other similar “shorts”, it’s pretty close to worthless without professionals mocking it for you (e.g. Mike or Joel).

Grade: D

1950s, How To Be A Housewife

*CRACKLE*

Flickers, bad cuts, bland voice-over.

Talks about lots of palatable pleasures.

The usual recent-lobotomy-happy background music and sexist drivel.

This one has a lamb fetish.

*shrug* It’s not nearly as funny without Joel or Mike mocking it, but if you’re drunk or stoned you could probably get a kick out of it.

And if you’re feeling old, this will cheer you up a bit.

Grade: D+

Filter

The Very Best Things (1995-2008) (2009)

Why didn’t I review this band before? I mean, I don’t LOVE them, but I’ve reviewed plenty of (obviously) (much) lesser bands.

Oh well. Here goes…

Sounds good from the start. “Hey Man, Nice Shot” isn’t about Kurt Cobain, to make it less interesting for you.

It’s got a shorter version of The Crystal Method’s “Trip Like I Do” that rocks.

But wait, there’s less!

Takes a dip after track five, but even the filler isn’t all that bad.

I really like Richard Patrick’s voice; when soft it conveys sensitivity and yearning, but he can also roar in fury with the best of them, and he seems to know when to do which most effectively.

Inspirational Quote: “Oh my God, this is the best…”

(“Hey Man, Nice Shot”, “Jurassitol”, “Take A Picture”)

Grade: B+

RiffTrax – Emergencies – What Would You Do?

Don’t Panic.

Talk about atrocious/wooden acting. Not complaining, it makes the riffing that much easier and more enjoyable.

It certainly doesn’t make you think, so it’s an amusing little time-killer.

Inspirational Quote: “He’s gone. Quick, let’s bone until we can’t move anymore.”

Grade: B

Cube (1997)

Creepy, at the very start. But that’s the problem: it never gets any creepier, like they shot their wad on a compelling intro to pull in the viewers.

There are some nasty visuals throughout, but not as many as you’d like in a movie where that’s the only thing of real interest. And if you struggle through movies with nasty visuals because you want to hang in there for the acting and storytelling and character development…yikes. Never, never, never watch this.

Starts getting pretentious and unbelievable not too far in.

Character connections and conflicts and just interactions in general seem a bit forced; done out of necessity.

Lots of overacting – especially the cop. And the characters’ personalities seem to shift rather than maintain or evolve.

It’s poorly written and – for the most part – poorly acted.

Lowered a notch for screwing up such a simple horror concept.

Canada, what happened to you?

Inspirational Quote: “It’s ASTRO-NOMICAL!”

Grade: F

And Then There Were None (2015 English Television Miniseries)

The audiobook is the best version of this tale, but this is superior to the 1945 film version, and more in line with the book.

Pretty well done (nice visuals and audio) and it has Sam Neill (can’t be bad).

But there are some mediocre moments of script/acting and it’s not carried through consistently.

17:20 of part 3 (of 3) – Nice little change of pace.

Grade: C

Paul McCartney And Wings

Band On The Run (1973)

The general critical consensus, as I understand it, is that most of Paul’s post-Beatles work is substandard.

And there’s a LOT of it, so I’m not going to waste my time.

This, on the other hand, is a pretty good album if you don’t expect too much from it.
And if you include the original American album release track “Helen Wheels”.
(“Band On The Run”, “Jet”)

Grade: B-

Nefarious (2023)

It’s almost all a conversation/debate/conflict/etc between two entities.

The acting is pretty good, I think. The psychiatrist is rock-solid if somewhat overshadowed, and the “demon” is quite impressive, I think…very interesting, if a bit too much of a blinker.

Lots to think about, I think…a lot of interesting questions are asked, a lot of interesting statements are made.

Lots of anger, frustration, push-pull…

There’s a great section of discussion that I can really relate to, regarding the wisdom of a battle against an omnipotent creator…regarding “the moral of the thing” in unwinnable struggles.

Stupidity/Insanity or Bravery/Courageous Defiance.

Creepy…certainly at least somewhat intriguing…somewhat “original”…

Not a masterpiece, certainly…some predictable moments, some cheezy moments…

Moving at times though, also, certainly…again, a nice intellectual boxing match from both actors.

I wonder…am I sad, or glad, that it’s not a masterpiece? Because if it was, it would be HORRIFYING.

33:59-39:00 – Great discussion, nice to have it done so well.

If it’s trying to “make a statement”, to “convert” (so to speak) to any religious/moral IRL position, I’m not buying it.

Thank…God?

Interesting and thought-provoking and disturbing though, at least somewhat, and I’m glad I watched it.

There are times when I think “Ok, this is starting to fall apart…” but it never really totally does.

But I hate the ‘Blair Witch’ attempt to pretend it’s meaningful in any way by talking about “demonic manifestations” and an exorcism reportedly taking place on set during production.

You don’t have to be Christian to be Good. You don’t have to be an atheist to be Evil. And vice-versa: there is no intrinsic connection between religion and morality.

Good and Evil is a question of morality. Choose to be Good, please. And do so because you BELIEVE in doing so, regardless of religion (or lack thereof).

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – And anyway, this question has already been answered, like it or not:

Nice ending, too.

Inspirational Quote: “I mean…what happens to an atheist uh, that is confronted by Demonic Evil?”

Grade: B-

Animal Farm (2020 YouTube Audiobook)

From the 1945 George Orwell novel.

Simple enough for a child to read but deep enough to make an adult think.

Things slowwwly get just a bit worse, and worse, and worse…

PLOT POINT: Around 1:09.

This “fairy story” gets darker and darker as it goes along.

Nastier plot point: 1:48:25.

Very depressing, but a very important book.

Inspirational Quote: “There were days when they felt that they would sooner have had less figures and more food.”

Grade: A

Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium (2005)

Cr@ppy “infected” flick that’s completely unrelated to Romero’s ‘Dead’ series.

Haha…interesting dining room scene, I must say. Around 1:27:55.

There’s an ‘Evil Dead’-ish funny moment or two, but pretty much everything else is a waste of your time.

Actual length: 1:39:09

Inspirational Quote: “I always hated your food.”

Grade: D-

Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

Four “Episodes” after a decent intro segment.

First:

A pissed-off, outspoken racist man has some extremely unpleasant experiences that alter his views on people in general.
1 – Pretty good
2 – Obvious/Cliche, and
3 – Obvious/Watch out for snakes!

The ending doesn’t get maudlin, thankfully, in the true spirit of the original series.

Second:

Boring and cliche take on aging and the desire to be young again.

Fresh young minds. Nom nom nom…

Third:

Modern update of sorts on ‘It’s A Good Life’, one of the best TZ episodes ever.

Definite creepy feeling when you realize (if you hadn’t been prepared for it) what’s up and wonder where it will take you, as the upside is definitely enticing.

I won’t ruin that other than to say that it delivers, at least somewhat. I was pretty impressed, actually.

Worth a watch.

Fourth:

(Singing) “Only (an inferior and unnecessary ‘Nightmare At 20,000 Feet’ remake) pads the film…”

Decent extro segment.

Quite frankly I think only the intro/extro, first-of-the-first and third are worthy of viewing.

Grade: D+

Birdemic: Shock And Terror (2010)

I couldn’t imagine a dumber opening, given the title of the “film”.

Main Street field, walking as a robot trying to be a human (Phantom Creeping), creepy waitress scene…

I’ve got a good idea of my grade, barring a miracle…now, to relax and enjoy with the occasional comment.

– A riveting response to Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”.
– FREEZE FRAME
– Imagine random out of place printouts
– The Clap
– Rotting Carcass
– Calm panning shots
– The Bird Blitz

Then it gets BAD.

Truly horrendous in every way.

A must-see.

Inspirational Quote: “Congratulations!”

Grade: F-

Pupdate – 11/26/24 (Boston Vs. New York – Sporting Events, An Unbelievably Anal Analysis (By Puppy))

Since publishing this post on 5/17/13, here is what’s happened in terms of championships:

NBA:

Celtics: 1 championship

Knicks/Nets: 0 championships
—
MLB:

Red Sox: 2 championships

Yankees/Mets: 0 championships
—
NHL:

Boston Bruins: 0 championships

Islanders/Rangers/Sabres: 0 championships
—
NFL:

Patriots: 3 championships

Bills/Giants/Jets: 0 championships

TOTAL:
Boston: 6 championships
New York: 0 championships
—
But hey, it’s just a game…chin up.

Hmmm…maybe we should forget about New York and go back to “BEAT L.A.!!!”, at least that’d be competitive.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 262 – Hackers)

Since I have my glorified blog backed up in several remote locations, you’d actually be doing me a favor (monetarily) by succeeding in destroying this site.

I mean…I’d just have to get a new hobby.

*shrug* You’re not doing very well, anyways.

Everything here is somewhere(s) remote, so have at it.

I just like taunting you.

– Puppy

Lana Del Rey

Born To Die: The Paradise Edition (2012)

What have I been missing out on all this time, all this music, all these years, all these artists dismissed/ignored?

Anything? Nothing?

I sorta wish/wished it was the latter.

But I can’t dismiss *this* album, at the least, and it indicates that maybe Greil Marcus was right about getting old.

Dreamy.

I think she wrote it all herself; if she was just a voice to someone else’s words and ideas I doubt I’d be impressed.

Dreamy…sad…

Do you know those times when you’re sad, forlorn, deeply moved, blown away, a single tear rolls down your cheek…for no reason?

She does.

And, thankfully, so do I.

Norman fcken great! I mean, in a way I hate this…now I have no choice but to catch up on a decade of music.

Not all dreams are revelatory, but these are all at least…pleasant. And no fcken nightmares.

Alba Gu Brath.
(“Video Games”, “Diet Mountain Dew”, “Dark Paradise”, “Body Electric”)

Grade: B+

2/12/25: Further listenings call for scalping off a few of the lesser ones here, mostly in the second half. Still a really nice atmosphere, though.

Grade: B

5/5/25:

Ultraviolence (2014)

At first I dismissed her as a one-shot with “Video Games”, then as a two-shot with ‘Born To Die: The Paradise Edition’, but I just thought I should give more of her stuff a chance.

Huge letdown here.

Only “Ultraviolence” is really worth your time: it swirls and reverberates like a good trip or drifting off into a dream-filled sleep.

A few others have moments here and there, but overall fail to deliver. I mean, they produced the Hell out of this and it’s still doomed by bad writing.

(“Ultraviolence”)

Grade: D-

Bonnie Tyler

Faster Than The Speed Of Night (1983)

Distinctive vocals, that’s for sure. But my overall displeasure at the musical results is just as distinct.

There’s one great female-Meatloaf-ian song (no, not the “I’d do anything for love…” one), but most of it is just embarrassing and/or head-shaking and giggle-producing.

And it’s covers plus hired songwriting; nothing from Ms. Tyler. I *hate* that.

“I’m livin’ in a powder keg and kickin’up sparks…” *blazingly defiant, energy coursing through me, shown in my eyes and crooked smile*

Mine’s better :P
(“Total Eclipse Of The Heart”)

Grade: D-

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 258 – Humanity)

So the vast majority of people are greedy, selfish, insensitive a$$holes who act according to their own best interests.

And when this happens to coincide with acting good to someone else, that’s not really being “a good person”…it’s doing what makes you feel good.

If you happen to – for whatever reason, including simply just BEING BORN THAT WAY – gain enjoyment from being an incredibly nice person, you’re not any better than those that happen to – for whatever reason, including simply just BEING BORN THAT WAY – gain enjoyment in the inflicting of suffering upon others.

What matters, when it comes down to it, is what you truly believe…and what you do, REGARDLESS of how you feel.

If you believe in being Good not because it makes you feel good – though it does – but because you BELIEVE in it, and you BEHAVE that way, that’s truly Good.
And good for you.
If you believe in being Good despite how you feel – good or horrible, or anything in between – and you BEHAVE that way, that’s truly Good.
And, in a way, even more admirable and deserving of happiness.
And good for you.

If you don’t believe in sh1t, on the other hand…well, if you don’t believe in sh1t, but merely act “Good” in order to obtain desired reactions for yourself, then you’re not “bad”…but you’re not really “Good”…you’re a greedy, selfish, insensitive a$$hole.

And of course there are those that don’t believe in sh1t AND ACT THAT WAY…hideous monstrosities that delight in doing wrong. I’ve known SO, SO many of them.

It takes me by surprise when I meet a truly GOOD person…they’re very hard to find.

Please…BE ONE. And if you find another, treasure and appreciate them.

– Puppy

We Have Always Lived In The Castle (YouTube Audiobook Version Of 1962 Shirley Jackson Novel)

Shirley Jackson – if my experience so far is a good indication – has a knack for making anything creepy, be it actually creepy or not. That is to say, a lead-up to what you feel will be something dark and disturbing even from a relatively harmless introduction, e.g. ‘The Lottery’.

That is the case here to begin with, and it makes it much more pleasurable to know that she has this ability, at least, to deliver on such build-up.

It’s a competently written, slowly developing witchcraft/shared isolation story from the witches point of view instead of the ignorant revolting pheasants.

Unfortunately, this turns out to be a lot more build-up than pay-off. ‘The Lottery’ delivers much more in much less time.

I wouldn’t bother with the film version. I’m certainly not going to.

Upped a notch for competence.

Upped a notch for respecting agoraphobia.

Grade: D+

The Lottery (YouTube Audiobook of 1948 Short Story)

Part of what convinced me, in college, that English Lit was MUCH more interesting than anything to do with accounting.

Creepy as Hell, I think, on the level of ‘The Metamorphosis’ and ‘Born Of Man And Woman’.

It holds up for me in my middle age.

I wouldn’t say it’s “great”…but it’s good.

And since it’s fairly short, a must-listen IMPO.

Inspirational Quote: “…they still remembered to use stones.”

Grade: B

Joker (2019)

A borderline-great movie. And I’m a d@mn harsh critic.

Basically it’s one man’s descent into madness…though to be fair there’s not *all* that much of a “descent” here…he’s pretty far gone not too far into the movie. It just gets more and more extreme, harder and harder to overlook.

Joaquin Phoenix is brilliant, which is no surprise, he’s a great actor. I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that he drew at least in part from painful life experiences to create Arthur Fleck.

It’s very well done. You can easily get lost in the despair that permeates the city/movie. Really fcken depressing, actually.

May profit from repeated viewings, if you wanted a better understanding. But I was too fcken depressed after one watch to plan for any more, and even now I wish – in a way – that it didn’t exist.

Misfortune leads to several incidents that aren’t Arthur’s fault…then again, those aren’t be-all excuses for everything he eventually does.

Visually disturbing and creepy. It’s difficult to know everything that is real and everything that is not.

NOT for the weak of heart. Scenes of graphic violence.

Gets a little slow at points. but I think (and will give the benefit of the doubt based on the rest) that this is intentional, in a way at least. Meaning, yes, here are some horrific and disgusting and terrifying things…and here’s something dull and slow as a real-life contrast. *shrug* Maybe, maybe not. In any case, I like my interpretation enough to enjoy it as such.

The vast majority of people are selfish, insensitive, rude a$$holes? I can’t really disagree with that.

Connection to ‘Are You Being Served?’ = Gary Glitter

Culmination near the end: Terrifying.

Inspirational Quote: “…you wouldn’t get it.”

Grade: A-

Subway Sub Shop – Maynard, Massachusetts

Yes, I’m reviewing a fast food restaurant.

Why? Well, the service was excellent and there was no hurrying involved, and you got plenty of what you wanted.

And I like rewarding good service, not just pointing out bad service.

Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki was loaded with…sweet onion chicken teriyaki. And toppings.

Cool stairs/tables, too. Ambiance is cool.

The person who served me is named Walter, I think he did a great job and you can quote me on that.

Nom nom nom.

Grade: A-