Find The Connection, If Any – Have Fun!

Psssssst…. 2:03-2:24

“Aaron’s pro tips: 2. Assume that ignorance is a valid excuse for being a white racist.”

(WAIT A MINUTE! You said “white racist”. Why did you say that?
Since, according to everything you’ve said before, ONLY whites can
be racist. Therefore, to say “white racist” is, by your own
definition, redundant. Unless of course you mean there can be
other types of racists…but that goes against everything you’ve said previously. You SEEM too eloquent to be TOTALLY redundant…Hmmmm…)”
– Excerpt from a previous discussion

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good clip from a very good movie featuring a usually not-very-good actor. (housekeeping)

Louis C.K.: Word: Live At Carnegie Hall (2012)

I’ve watched them out of order, so I don’t know whether to say “improvement” or “downgrade”…but this is pretty insightful/direct/funny. 

Almost back to ‘Chewed Up’, I think.

And it’s a welcome return to very bad taste.

Favorite bits: extended Hate rant, slavery rant, extended Anti/Pro children rant

Inspirational Quote: “You don’t die, idiot, you just have a long sh1tty second half.”

Grade: B

Monty Python’s Life Of Brian (1979)

Ok…forget everything I’ve ever said about this movie. 

It had been a LONG LONG time since I last saw it.  ‘Til now.

The intro is weak and the intro song sucks.

As for the movie…it’s got some completely weak/dull bits scattered liberally throughout.  It’s also got some really amusing/interesting bits scattered liberally throughout.

Nothing that’s PARTICULARLY funny…not up to ‘Holy Grail’ or any of the best of ‘Flying Circus’. 

The best parts come after about the 40 minute mark.  Some of them are lifted, but they rip their own material, so it’s not too bad.

And it’s got a nice message at the very end.

Inspirational Quote: “No, that’s the point…don’t let ANYONE tell you what to do!”

Grade: C+

Desperado (1995)

Great intro…Steve Buscemi almost always satisfies.

This is a bunch of action scenes, mostly shootouts, spread out over the length of a movie by drama scenes that don’t really mean anything.

This movie doesn’t really mean anything.  But here are my favs:

– The first shootout after Buscemi’s warning: great music/action.

– Danny Trejo vs. Banderas and a car full of bad guys: great action/chaos theory ponderings.

A couple of scenes are also interesting/amusing…but most are just there because they have to be.

Grade: C-

The Ring (2002)

There’s a hole in this thar movie!

So the kid sees soon-to-be-dead people?  Mostly dead?  Slightly alive?  Que?  Little boy in this movie: you are no Haley Joel Osment.

Freakiness/Weirdness is there, but the first not as much.  And there really isn’t much “scariness”…it’s mostly a longggg bit of atmosphere broken up by scenes; tedious in the middle.

I don’t buy the drama or the characters so much, probably because of the quality of the writing.  And acting.  Not horrid, but…not A-list.

After it seems over: The rest seems plastered on, thrown in because it still wasn’t good enough, a lame attempt at more suspense “action”.

With all that said, kudos to the director for making it watchable and semi-enjoyable.  I’m sure it wasn’t easy.

To all the critics that don’t “understand” the movie:  I think you misuse the word “understand”.  I understand it, I just think parts of it exist for no real reason, explained or otherwise.  It’s just someone’s attempt at a scary movie, that’s all.  And they had to pad around it and make it more “mysterious” to achieve anything at all.

But it’s not worth all the work.  Maybe it could’ve been a dark, creepy X-File.  But it wasn’t.

Grade: C

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part 13

A few other critical ones:

Stairs: When travelling (within your house) at night, if forced to use stairs in a dwelling where BL is sleeping (Usually about 8:30 EST…gotta get plenty of rest to earn that…ummm…), you must endeavor to avoid making any noise at all.  This may require a significant amount of time, but don’t worry – if you get it wrong and make the tiniest of noises, you’ll be graciously informed the following morning.  Accept this in the spirit of self-improvement, as no human can ever truly please BL, one must simply learn to annoy him as little as possible.  OH…also, do not turn on the light to climb the stairs.  Do it by feel, by memorization.  Because if you succeed, great…you haven’t used up any electricity!  And if you slip and fall and go crashing down the stairs…well, that light woulda woke him up anyway.  Simply remain still and calm, and in the morning someone will pop that bone back into your leg.

Lights: Lights are not to be used.  The ONLY exception is the room you are CURRENTLY in.  And I don’t mean half-in, or almost-in.  You should be ALL THE WAY in the room before turning any light on.  It’s a simple matter.  Lights left on due to BL falling asleep drunk are, of course, exempted.

Booze: You could talk about your problems/feelings(?), or you could just get hammered.

Delivery: If you, you horrible little younger person with your color tv sets and your hula hoops, decide that someone’s slaved-over dinner isn’t GOOD enough for you just because it is a food that would make you literally vomit, and you decide to order food DELIVERED – I mean, what are you, made of money??? *gulp of booze* – there are just a few things you should know.
1) Don’t do it.
2) If not 1, you will be asked every time even if answer is already known: “You’re ordering out?” or somesuch question/phrase.  There is no proper response…simply deal with the shame of having your dreadful deed pointed out.
3) Time spent going from your room to the door is time LIGHTS ARE WASTED…especially that stupid little outdoor one.  So, somehow manage to be waiting at the door when the food arrives.  Don’t ask me, figure it out for yourself.
4) Even though the dog attacks (or tries to attack) every stranger coming to the door, the dog WILL NOT be held against its will.  It is an occupant of the house, just as you are, you filthy degenerate!  So your options are as follows:
Go outside the house, quickly slipping through the door and then closing it behind yourself just in time to stop the charging dog, shiver if it’s winter, pay for the food, open the door, find out it’s been closed (to save on heat) and therefore locked, knock on the door (with a free hand, or your head lightly if none available), face the scorn of the one opening the door, apologize for your impudence, offer some of the food to the guy sitting like a lump on the couch, wander upstairs and eat QUIETLY.
All other options have been discontinued.

Tha End.

Bad Mathematical News For CA/A’s

Ok, so let’s assume that everything you say is right, and everything any religion says is wrong.

IMPO it isn’t/it isn’t/you’re mostly a bunch of conceited wankers, BUT let’s assume those things for this.

How strategically sound is it to pick a fight with an opponent that has MANY times what you have in terms of: money, power, influence, manpower, consolidation…?

It’s like, for example, an independent political candidate that was NOT independently wealthy.

That candidate could have the greatest ideas and be able to magically fix the world (well, not really, but EVEN IF they could)…and they’d still lose.

How do I know this?  HISTORY.  FACT.  You know…the truth.

You might not LIKE it, but it is the truth. 

You’re fcked.  You cannot win.  Your zeal is matched by MANY independents that have gone down to defeat, year after year after year, since the beginnings of this country.

But hey, good luck. HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Ahem.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Easily the best thing about this is the relaxed lineup promo pic.

Somewhat odd, mostly over-wordy and boring (at least, after a while) crime drama.

Kevin Spacey as the “narrator” and one of the Usuals is really the only draw. 

Everything else is what an “ensemble cast” movie usually is: not good, but professional and therefore somewhat tolerable.  But nothing to watch voluntarily.

Disappointing…I was hoping for much better.

Inspirational Drool: Stephen Baldwin

Grade: D

Nightmare City (1980)

Horrible aerial footage and completely out-of-place music indicates this will suck.  Nevertheless…

Oh God, the horrid dialogue. 

Oh God, the horrid battle scenes.

Brilliant scene selection, too.  Zoom in slightly on a dead body, then immediately cut to bad disco number cuz THEY can dance!

A lot of music and dancing to pad the film, of course.

And cr@ppy “gore” FX, especially with the Chia Zombies. 

And horrid foley.

Basically, this is a sh1t movie that you might get a kick out of if you like mocking said movie type.  In that case, it’s…serviceable.

Grade: D

Redneck Zombies (1987)

It’s a Troma flick.  Most difficult part of reviewing it: deciding on ’87 or ’89.  I did a thorough couple minute search and I’m going with ’87.

I’ve explained Troma before, so let’s just say this one isn’t smart or funny in its horribleness.  I think I’m gonna stop watching these; this is a very persuasive argument.

According to Wikipedia, this is a “VERY low budget” film.  Caps mine, and I agree.

Answer: Oh, about 3 1/2 minutes.

6:57 – Production meeting
27:55-28:00 – At least one person gets a good laugh
55:57 – HAIKIBA!
1:01:25-40 – Camera sex

1:03:30-1:05:30 – Great moment in insane medical history, and the only at-all funny/clever part of the film.

Inspirational Quote: “Where’s a good place to take a sh1t?”

Grade: F-

Maternal Instinct

Record001

This following a tearful, heart-rending promise that even going there would never happen.

PUPPY EDIT: This will remain here, the latest entry, until it reaches a certain number of hits.  Then, stuff that I’ve been working on during this/that time will be posted.

Thank you for your cooperation.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

3/23/14:  Good enough.

…And The Rest. Phew…Good Thing That’s Over With

“Adam Terman  Aaron, thanks for being one of the 40 trolls a day.”

Personally, I think you should try to get either DOWN to 6.9 a day or UP to 69 a day.

“The fact that you took the time says a lot.”

Not really.  My life’s not particularly exciting, and you guys make great satire fodder.  Not to mention what you do for my hit total.

“But if you got up from your laptop”

Why would I be sitting on my laptop?

“feeling a little more superior”

How can you feel “more” superior?  Superior does not equal large.  So “more” superior is just a dumb statement…but it’s ok, I still love you.  And so does God.

“I guess that’s the goal.”

No, my goal was to provide satirical amusement to my readers, get a few laughs or at least chuckles for myself, and possibly convert someone to NON-crusading Atheism.  Two out of three ain’t bad.

“And googling past posts? Nice, you are a sophisticated troll.”

Using google is a sign of sophistication?  Oh, right, yeah…that’s a dismissive insult masquerading as a compliment.  Well done.
———————————————
Part Two:

“Bella Wilfer-Rokesmith I’m pretty sure he can tell us himself if he wants us to know something. What are you, some kind of groupie wannabe?”

Bella, at the end of this y’all gonna be wearing gold-plated diapers. (?)
QUOTE: “I don’t have the time, the interest, the energy…” – Neil deGrasse Tyson on CA/Aing

“Bella Wilfer-Rokesmith Maybe he will send you an autographed picture after you send him your fictional stories about him.”

Bella, you are a Godsend…

What the fck are you talking about? Ummm…sorry, but:

To/From Some CA/As

You’re a loony. You’re also reported for trolling and spam.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam *Wonderful spam, wonderful spam!* spam, spam…

Great lead-in JW, I’ll take it from here.

*Me talking to everyone reading as if JW isn’t here*

“So the people in this group put up with my rampant posting without a single word of complaint to me for over a week.  The group leader actually “LIKE”s at least 3 of them.  Then, suddenly, instead of ASKING for more posts, because they thought they were “winning”, they basically raise the white flag and hide behind “you’re reported!”.  Intellectual Cowards, eh?”

You guys say trolling a lot…can you go back to the logical fallacy obsession?  I think that one was slightly more sophisticated and thus worthy of you.

BUT, as to your FIRST point, I must respond thusly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_Nq3xuHkgE

AND

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmyHup4TpkU    1:19-2:02

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Both clips are good parts from a great show. (housekeeping)

How You Know You’ve Won Against A CA/A – Opinion Piece by Puppy

Well, it’s simple really.  Just like any other group, their first response to dissidents is to attempt to overpower them/their arguments with sh1t that comes naturally to them.  You know, the basics…the sh1t they’ve said so many times they’ve got it memorized, down cold. 
Like:  “Ok, this person is *insert suspected flaw in belief structure here*.  So let’s go after that…Ok, that’s a number 23A.  Roll it out”.

If that fails, more will join with different but very similar sh1t.  It’s a pack effect…they’re not doing it to educate, they’re doing it because their rep isn’t doing so well (rep: first person spoken to regarding a given subject).  Then the rep shuts the fck up cuz they realize they weren’t good enough, and the real heavy-hitters come in. (I know, I know…sometimes it’s “the closest they have to-“, but still).

Different methods are employed: The “talking to someone else who feels exactly the same as if dissident isn’t even there”.  The purpose of this is to insult said dissident for being “left out” or “ignored” so they will get angsty and say something stupid.  Also, talking to a fellow tends to give you a bit of renewed confidence: “No, I am NOT wrong…”, etc…

If THIS doesn’t work, maybe their ultra-super-high-mucky-muck comes in and slams the door shut with their best outro.  Or maybe they just completely ignore you…but they still know you’re there, so don’t give up hope.  They’re reading every word you type.

Then there’s the optional “send in a rational neutralish guy”…this is where someone talks to dissident with at least SOME degree of respect, in an attempt to shut them up.  May turn swiftly into step one if they sense imminent failure.

THEN…and ONLY then, do they call upon outside powers.  Why?  Because that makes them feel weak…to NEED someone else to defend you from words.  It’s absolutely INFURIATING to a self-styled educated person to feel like they’re LOSING to some random loser on the net. :)

Correction

At least in some cases, repetition is not the key to comedy.  It’s quoting angsty CA/A’s as they bleat about “logical fallacies” and attempt intellectual, “superior” insults.  Because everyone knows if your insult sounds smart, it must be.  And also funny.

Soooo…given recent readings, it would appear my initial statement was imprecise.  Let’s say repetition and/or angsty CA/A’s is the key to comedy.  Preferably both…and they do oblige.

Vis:

Martine Atherton
“not really any insight there, just a bit butthurt.”

Puppy Response: Well, the insight to me is “Even people that are 6.9 sure about something will read a post if it’s the only way to honestly say ‘Sorry, honey, I don’t want to create anymore revolting offspring.'”  Also, when you say “butthurt” do you mean anal sex, painful rectal itch, a good spanking?  Can’t figure out if you have an anal fixation, an anal fixation, or…hmmm.

Oh!

“Joseph Waldman That’s nice. Now run along, Bergoglioite troll.”

Puppy Response: Wow…you really like that word. Google overload.  You need to, IMPO, expand your horizons on the insult front.  I mean, change it up a little, man.

“Don Taylor Jr. So you decided to expend time and energy to use the argument from authority to declare that it’s a waste of time and energy… o_0”

Puppy Response: So you decided to expend time and energy pointing out that I was wasting time and energy using (OMG/OMLG no, I will not repeat your bleated logical fallacy) to declare that something is a waste of time and energy?

4/15/16: “This is gettin monotonous!” – Curly Howard

And finally, just for fun:

“…presents Richard Dawkins at in Des Moines, Iowa…”

Puppy Response: This could have used at in an editor.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Perished (Youtube Short Film, 2013)

The lead suffers from extreme overacting.  The rest suffer from redundancy. 

Sorry…I’ve got redundancy on the brain.

9:07-9:17:  He wants the upper berth, you get less air.
13:29-13:38:  Hamburger with a zipper.

Upped slightly for a fairly interesting ending.

Grade: D-

4/5/14: I like the nurse with the protective mask on (zombie)…nice touch.  But would it REALLY have cost that much to laminate/plasticize that license?  Grade: D

Possible Relative Of Lothar – SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE

Latham Conger III:  “What’s your point, mouthbreather with an ego?”

Oh, paaaahhhhdon me.  I shall henceforth refer to him as “Latham, of the Shrill People”.

But…how can I analyze this?  He says nothing…it’s purely an insult.  I think he’s just really angsty-pissed, and he’s trying to find out how best to get under my craw.  Well, sorry LotSP, but third-rate demand/insults aren’t quite good enough.

Why do I quote/comment on these weirdos so much?  Doesn’t that make me as redundant as they are?  Well, not really…because since this is satire, I’m not so much responding as I am mocking.  And there are endless variations on a mock.  AND it’s d@mn good for hits!!!

But…let’s try: “What’s your point,” – Now, this makes sense by itself, if he didn’t understand what I was trying to say. 

“mouthbreather with an ego?”

Now this is interesting…he called me a “mouthbreather”, which I admit I had to look up because that’s a fairly rare insult…at least, *I* have never gotten called that before.  So I looked it up, and now I’m less ignorant!  Should I thank him?

And “with an ego?”.  Ummm…everyone has an ego.  You needed to add something to that, LotSP…like “inflated”, or “extreme”, or “Dawkins-esque”.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Most Ambivalent CA/A Support I’ve Ever Seen

“Agnostic Atheist Anti-Theist Foundation Sometimes Bill Maher hits the nail on the head. – JC”

Let’s break this down logically.

JC, apparently the (or one of the) head of AAATF, watches a long Bill Maher rant about religion being horrible, I point out how unbelievably redundant Maher is, and that’s the best support JC can respond with?

I mean, that’s approaching Das But territory: “If you go somewhere else, someone besides me…”

Really ummm…emotionally involved.  And intellectually committed.

Because the statement “Sometimes Bill Maher hits the nail on the head” could mean anything.

Sometimes = more than 1 time
Bill Maher = some garden variety CA/A.  Please…stop planting them.
hits the nail on the head = figuratively, of course.  Meaning “gets something right”

So, the real statement being made (since they don’t believe in empathy, reading emotions, tone, context) is “At least 2 times in his life, a CA/A gets something completely right.”

PUPPY NOTE: “Correct” not used for possible further post advancement reasons.

I mean, I know he CAN’T (well…this is NOT strictly logical, so I dunno, but…) mean that, literally.  He can’t mean “Bill Maher has gotten something totally right at least twice in his life”.

Because that would be stupid, not to mention imprecise.  I mean, I’m sure Bill got a few questions right on his 4th grade math exam.

So what he’s REALLY saying is (in my subjective Puppy opinion) either: “I don’t believe anything he says here is right, but I want to support him anyway, so I’ll say something completely ambiguous”.

OR: “I believe some things he says here are right, but not others, and I don’t want to insult a fellow CA/A, so I’ll vaguely support him in a completely non-binding manner.”

OR: “I believe this entire video is absolutely correct and gets everything totally right.”

OR: “I believe Bill Maher gets things totally right sometimes, but I either haven’t watched the video or I’m too lazy to point out a thing in particular, so I’ll just use an ambiguous figure of speech.”

Brilliant!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Bill Maher Speaks, Fewer and Fewer People Care

Bill Maher says everything that’s been said by hundreds of CA/A’s already, in every possible form, against religion. Dick Dawk pats him on the head…who gives a sh1t? I mean, the only insult word that comes to mind regarding Maher’s commentary (and usually Maher himself) is “redundant”.

Maher knows about redundancy, Mr. Hunter.

And if you’re gonna invent a religion, and call it “Apatheist”…that means you’re “apathetic”. Apathetic people don’t go ON and ON
and ON and ON about things they’re apathetic about. THAT’S THE
DEFINITION OF APATHETIC you redundant Dick. Dawk follower, that is.

And come ON…”apatheist”? “religulous”?? I’ve done better wordplay sh1t than that and dismissed it as unworthy of my standard. Get some new material, man…this God thing has been done to death.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. – Spoiler: The next book on non-belief you read will conclude that God does not exist. Sorry…I know how much you were wanting to read it for the 100th time, slightly altered.

Redundancy is Propaganda.

See Hitler’s quote. And yes, I am PROUDLY making a Hitler
reference. Why? To piss off the slave-to-the-new-chains (Thank you, A.E.) logical fallacy hipsters.

“The most brilliant propagandist technique will yield no success
unless one fundamental principle is borne in mind constantly – it
must confine itself to a few points and repeat them over and over…”
– Adolf Hitler

4/22/16: Man, I’ve GOT to stop talking about redundancy…hmmmmmmmm…

Pupdate 3/16/14: Major Overhaul

Same-Day Rewrite:  When I was putting less effort into it I was getting 5K hits a day.  Putting more effort into it gets me in the 100’s.  Really fcken frustrating.  Only three ways to deal with it:
1) Ditch it
2) Work harder on it
3) View it as something to do as a hobby, not a necessity, as I always should have

I picked 3.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part 12

Screw it…it’s just a dog.  Save that 5 bucks a month.  That’s at LEAST 2 beers. *SATIRE*

The rest is NOT satire.

“Sent: 9/2/2010 4:23:04 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
Subj: Hi

I just checked again…Bobby switched it to “Energy Saver – Fan”.  I said it should be on “Cool”, because that helps more with humidity.  Bobby … refused to listen to me.  He’s already threatened to kill me, so I didn’t argue with him.  X is your dog, X.  If you want the AC on a certain setting, it should be.  Talk to Bobby.  If he says he won’t do it, talk to X.  If she says she won’t do it, pay the extra 10 bucks a month to cover the cost difference.  At least, that’s what I would do.  Me saying anything is pointless, I would be ignored.”

Answers:
1) Of course it’s real.  Edited only for name purposes. (X’s) and once for subjectivity purposes (removing something (…) that might be construed as subjective)
2) Yes, this is the guy that’s not paid taxes on a LOT of income for a LONG time, as of mid 2011.
3) No, I don’t think I’m being a rat or a snitch.  He threatened to kill me.  Fck him.
4) *shrug* Not a big dog fan, maybe?  Just a possibility (there was a dog trapped in that virtual fcken greenhouse WITHOUT proper ventilation…to save money, of course)
5) Well that’s plannin, isn’t it?  Forethought.  This isn’t even the best of his worst.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. – A movie quote to the IRS if they haven’t talked to this…person yet.

“Variable, this is Knife: Where the Hell are you???”

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part 11

How to say goodbye.

If it’s someone you (I can’t say “like”…let’s say “tolerate well” as the high), then give a quick “Bye”, MAYBE EVEN IF they don’t say it first!!! (That’s like, pure BL gold…you gotta really be lucky).

If it’s someone you dislike/hate then either COMPLETELY ignore their attempts, gaze up coldly for DARING to take up your time with a pleasantry and then look back down, OR…and this is the most common and recommended by B.L….PRETEND you didn’t hear them, make them say it again, and THEN do the ignore/cold stare in some sort of variety pack form.  You know, always the same, just mix it up a little.

Sorta like the ‘Today’s Mystery Limp’, only…well, I was gonna say “smarter” or “dumber”, but it’s pretty darn equal.

And while writing about B.L., this just came to mind…not sure HOW it’s connected, but there it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRKz82v5JQY

P.S. I apologize for the redundancy with Part 10, this is just like, SO B.L.  And I’m still only writing ONE copy for every…hmmmmm…let’s say 100 times it happened.  Very conservative estimate, mind you.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Bad movie, just enjoy the clip. (housekeeping)

How To Respond Decisively To A Request

This is a JOKE…calm the fck down.

The German Response: A strong “No”.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – I don’t care how historically “inaccurate” it is.

1) It’s a MOVIE.
2) Don’t be so pedantic.
3) Look up the phrase “suspension of disbelief”
4) I hardly think anything that may have in some tiny way happened 2,000 years ago can be PRECISELY DOCUMENTED.
5) What do you have against dogs??? Bastards.
6) I forget six.
6.9) I change my position: it is not completely and precisely accurate, therefore it is illogical and against the Ministry Of Truth. Just don’t throw rats at my face, please, for the love of non-God.

Tales From The Darkside – Pilot OR Episode 0 (Trick Or Treat)

Horrible.  How this got the show bought is beyond me.

It’s slow ALLLL the way through.  Cheeziness/cheezy music do remind me of Romero a bit (he…and I use the word liberally…”wrote” this).

And what a BLATANT ‘Creepshow’ ripoff.  You know, that one freaky/good movie segment.

Don’t miss the exciting “rotary phone re-re-re-dialing” scene.

Reviewed merely to get something new started.  Hopefully it gets better.

Louis C.K.: Hilarious (2010)

Starts off really well – tasteless and/or funny, and seemingly fresh.

That’s the first few minutes.

After that it becomes uneven: more amusing than funny, with a few exceptions.  And the mumbling/grunting gets on my fcken nerves after…right away.  I don’t want Tim Allen, I want Louis C.K.

He just doesn’t seem all that inspired sometimes.  For the first time that I’ve noticed, he seems vaguely fake in points.

Check out the highlights, then try another special, unless you demand to see them all.

Highlights: Dead Kid bit, Awkward Heterosexual Sucking bit, Sh1t bit

Grade: C+

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part 10

How to greet/say goodbye to people.

If you LIKE them (very rare): Give them an emotionless but polite “hello” but do not otherwise pursue conversation.

If you are APATHETIC/NEUTRAL towards them: Give them some sort of FAINT acknowledgement (perhaps) if you’re in the mood for it.  Otherwise, skip it.

If you DISLIKE them (for no reason other than you’re a prick):  Return their greeting/farewell with COMPLETE ignorance OR (even better) just look up slightly, stare at them coldly, and then look back down.  Best when done several dozen (hundred?) times to reinforce the effect.

Whatever the case may be, try to avoid conversation.  Because then they’ll probably think this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A good bit from a really bad movie. (housekeeping)

Crimson Tide – The Extended Version (Part 6)

Timing has been abandoned for this bit.

“You know, Mr. Hunter…with the advancements in submarine technology we have in this ship, we could travel very large distances if we wanted to.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that, Sir.”
“I’m not certain of this, Mr. Hunter…but I would bet we could very easily travel, let’s say, 20,000 leagues.”
“Yes, Sir, I concur.”
“That’s pretty deep, Mr. Hunter.”
“Actually, Sir, it’s pretty far.  But it may or may not actually be deep.  Sir.”
“What’s that, Mr. Hunter?”
“I was explaining, Sir, that travelling 20,000 leagues would be pretty far, Sir.  But not necessarily all that deep.  Sir.”
“Ah, yes…I understand that now.  Thank you, Mr.  Hunter.  Oh, by the way, I bet those Portugese horses, the Lippizaner stallions,  could run a distance of 20,000 leagues before they got tired.
“I don’t think you’ve quite got the hang of that measurement, Sir.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4anNb2jS4Q

“I didn’t know that, Mr. Hunter.  But they are from Portugal.”
“Sir, if you don’t mind, could we please drop the friggin’ horse conversation?”

There’s 20,000 leagues more, but I’m done here.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A great bit from a great show. It’s a great episode, too, as I recall. (housekeeping)

Lunatics Reviewing Music – Part 13

The vastly overrated Andy Kaufman adding a little punch to “The Mighty Mouse Theme”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGx94VPb8V8

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – I’m gonna criticize this (it’s mildly amusing) but I don’t care much if you campaign wildly for its removal since the mildly is very mildly. (housekeeping)

Bad Milo! (2013)

This is a dark/silly comedy, despite the blood.  “Horror” is just such a misplaced word relating to this.

Stressed out man gets an alien thing in his body.

Best things about it: Distant relative of ‘How To Get Ahead In Advertising’ (perhaps a lovechild with ‘Office Space’), the train intro, and Peter Stormare.

Neutrals: Intelligence, Weirdness, Decent acting.

Worst thing about it: The fact that I got completely bored not quite halfway in and never gave a sh1t after that.

Grade: D