The Untouchables (1987)

Ness and his Inconceivables:
Moving bravely through the cigarette-smoke-and-hot bribe (TEXAS STYLE!!!) induced fog/smog toward the Grail-like ultimate goal of preventing people from drinking booze. 

WHAT AN IDEA! Not a GOOD one, but, an IDEA!

Not exactly high up on my list of “heroes”.

Wikipedia: “The efforts of Ness and his team had little impact on Capone’s operations. Ness had almost nothing to do with the IRS prosecuting Capone for income tax evasion, which led to Capone’s downfall.”

Income Tax Evasion…now, what low-effort bit of mine does that remind me of…

Has not aged well (especially near the end), but still somewhat interesting, if overly DRAMATIC!

Grade: D

Tales From The Crypt – Episode 67 (Only Skin Deep)

Good beginning, promising…and the rest is surprisingly unbroken.

A few things I’m curious about, but…that at least means it’s decent.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t give a sh1t.

Vaguely reminds me of ‘Lo’ (not as good, without the romance or depth). 

And being reminded…(see last review).

Zombie Night (2013)

There’s a lot of stumbling and repetition and stupid attempts at “dialogue” but very little else.  The zombies aren’t that great either.

No exciting, brilliant, refreshing (???), ingenious, or clever new ideas here.  Same zombie sh1t, different zombie day.  So it’s forced to get by on the acting and script.  Unfortunately, the acting sucks and the script is even worse.

Inspirational Quote: “I can’t imagine it could be any worse.”

Grade: F-

Crimson Tide – The Extended Version (Part 5)

00:52:01 – “So, Mr. Hunter…what’s your favorite Dreckheimer film?”
“Sir?”
“‘Sir’, as in you didn’t hear me correctly, or ‘Sir’ as in you didn’t understand the question?”
“‘Sir’ as in I am not sure if I heard you correctly, Sir.”
“Your favorite Dreckheimer film, Mr. Hunter.”
“I see, Sir.”
“You see a-“
“Sir, please drop that multiple choice cr@p briefly while I answer, Sir.”
“Of course, Mr. Hunter.”
“I see…I did hear you correctly, Sir, but I’m not a big Dreckheimer fan so it’s difficult to say…although I would probably have to say ‘Crimson Tide’, Sir.”
“I see, Mr. Hunter…”
“You see, as in-“
“Don’t take my bit, Mr. Hunter.”

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part 8

Dinner.

At dinner, NEVER (and I can’t stress this enough)…NEVER tell anyone if they appear to be taking too much, if you have/haven’t had a portion of X yet, if the fate of the world revolves around one bite of horrid homemade rice mix.  After all, you are the Martyr without a cause.  And just because words EXIST, does that mean you HAVE to use them?

Speech should consist of the following ONLY: the dinner, tomorrow’s dinner, last night’s dinner, how much under-the-table undeclared money you made/missed out on that day, grumbling, grunting, and of course shooting down everyone else’s hopes and dreams with unwavering apathetic criticism.

Those of lesser stature (all except homeowner) do NOT need to be addressed, under any circumstances.  If you deign to acknowledge them, be certain not to be friendly about it.

EVERYTHING must go:  If that last 3 bites of rice pilaugh is going to be dumped, when until JUST before it is, then ask what is being done, then correct the problem either by causing guilt in the attempted dumpee, walking over (see “limp”) and doing it yourself in disgusted fashion, or get a small bag and put the food in there, to be useful as a side dish, most probably a “Here’s to knowingly evading taxation” apathetic triumphant bite.  Then BACK TO WORK, Slacker!

Cockneys Vs Zombies (2012)

Ok, fairly generic movie that tries to be really funny (sometimes subtle, sometimes not).

Bad gore attempts, some good tasteless humor, some boring attempted humor.

And, of course, zombies.  They shamble…nothing special.

I get the feeling, as I got around the time of K. Cobain’s death, that while these types of movies will continue to be made, everything that has to be said, every variant that needs to be explored…is over and done.  So it might limp along for a while, but it is essentially dead.

Note: Cobain reference was toward grunge, not Cobain himself.

Grade: D

Random Naughty Bits

Ok, so, in accordance with my previous post re: logical fallacies, I think from now on whenever ANYONE uses the phrase “logical fallacy” in a “I win!” fashion, I will dedicate the next ten posts I make to be in some way related to Nazi Germany.

It’s like the sign-in-the-lawn theory. 

Oh, and here’s why Pride is a “sin”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=movv92UJ36M

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A good clip from a very good movie. (housekeeping)

The Delusion Delusion

A logical fallacy and an incorrect conclusion are completely separate. A statement could have a million logical fallacies and be correct, a statement could have zero logical fallacies and be incorrect. The very term “logical fallacy” has become a piece of propagandic nonsense, designed to mentally intimidate and, in fact, becoming a “logical fallacy” in itself.

To quote a famous theist: “This is a soulless society, Captain. It has no spirit, no spark. All is indeed peace and tranquility: the peace of the factory, the tranquility of the machine.”

Do you want that?  As tempting as it may be at times, I do not.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

A Public Service Announcement – By Puppy

It seems they demanded a re-match after ‘The Epilogue’, so here’s the absolute, final, authoritative word on The existence/non-existence of God.

They speak in code, of course…but I think you can figure it out.

Phew…now that that’s all set, I can’t wait for next week.  It’ll be MUCH better than ‘Cats’.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gULNoATVT1I

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Basically, this is the shortened version of what happens in most debates featuring relatively equal-strength opponents. It’s just a LOT shorter. (housekeeping)

Sharknado (2013)

With a name like ‘Sharknado’, you…Eh, screw it. 

Sharks flying in tor-nayyyy-does, it’s Ser-E-us.

Graded upwards for high mockability quotient.  And come on…it takes a brave man not to give this an F-. (Yes, I know mockability isn’t a word.  I made it up.  It conveys meaning.  Therefore it is a legitimate symbol…which is what all letters are.  It’s called “being human”.  Some people need to try that sometime).

Inspirational Quote: “Just can’t sit back and watch this…”

Grade: D

The Pit Of Ultimate Gothness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rADdKqPNdaM

I have plenty of comment options, so let’s make it one of those old Do-It-Yourself books:

My joke on this is ___________________________________ (Noun, Verb, Adverb, Adjective)

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This is a clip of a good sketch. And if people haven’t read my other post(s) featuring this clip, then this criticism is new to them. (housekeeping)

Pupdate: Radio Station (2/8/14)

Some station facts:

I will NOT stop playing anything in my main genres.  So if you click “down” on every Nirvana song, it ain’t gonna do any good.  And screw you, you annoying bastard.

I play as much as I can of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, etc…and I rotate a few songs in and out.  That means that a LOT of songs you will hear OVER and OVER for a LONGGGGG time.  Why?  Because they’re good, and I’m not gonna play (relatively) sh1t songs just for “variety”.  Want variety?  Try a freeform station.  Not mine.

Feel free to send me comments.  If I like them (or hate them) they might end up here.

There are always certain songs on the fringe.  Meaning, not sure if I want to play them or not.  If you hear an unusual song that you don’t hear often, please LISTEN to it, and vote it up or down.  This may have some effect on whether it comes back or not.

Finally, don’t make requests.  Cuz quite frankly, I don’t give a sh1t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 51)

If someone was to say to Noel Coward (while he was still alive): “You’re an intellectual coward”, would that be an insult, a compliment, or an even, plain statement of fact/opinion?

Oh, and watch out for this in a future review.  Have to wait for a suitable one…D@MN!!

“Why do I (verb) this so (adverb)?  The answer is simple – Volume.

Night Of The Living Bread (1990)

DEFINITELY a specialty bread…starring in a short (thank God) film.

If you hated ‘Night’ for its cheeziness more than you liked it for its everything-else, you MIGHT like this unbelievably obvious comedy-free parody of it.

Only apparent use, to me: A palette-cleanser before any other zombie feature to make you feel better about the quality of said feature.

Grade: F

Stay Living (3 Short Films plus Intro, YouTube 2013)

A shameless set of commercials for something you don’t need.

And, mixed in, there’s some zombies, some characters with no personality, and lots of butt shots.

Unfortunate that this entire series wastes the 2 or 3 sorta-clever ideas (total) it has by pimping them out to a “Crocodile” Dundee phone sex ad.

Grade: F

The Mangler (1995)

Another decent Stephen King story turned into a cr@ppy horror flick.

Not NEARLY as bad when you’re just waiting for it to end so you can play ‘Killer Instinct’.

Most interesting feature:  An evil, possessed electric icebox.  ONE…and I can’t stress that enough…but ONE idea that Curly had that was perhaps not completely, totally cool.

(Insert electric icebox moment of clarity here)

Grade: F

4/23/16: It’s got a faint creepiness to it. I mean, the faint-creepiness-inducing scenes are so cheezy that they would be laughable if they weren’t so gross…but it IS there, nevertheless. Grade: D-

GOOD Debater…

PUPPY NOTE: Name(s) hidden to protect the non-angsty.

Ok, so I forget what EXACTLY I said, and my brain hurts too much
now to go back there. But basically, I asked what the point of the Creationism/Evolution debate was. Noone that believes strongly is
going to just “suddenly” have an epiphany and convert/unconvert.
I suppose that, yes, there are some that are just SO undecided and
non-guided (that’s not an insult) that they could “become” one of
either side by watching…but…that hardly seems likely and even
if they did, it would be just as easy for them to switch back,
again, for any one of 6.9 reasons. So I was left with…people
watch debates because they, through a debater, feel they have a “voice”…that so-and-so is speaking for them, in a way. Like an
us Vs. them mentality, not unlike the mentality of fans of Boxing,
MMA, etc…they watch in order to see their man (or woman) DEMOLISH (intellectually speaking) the other person. Not to learn.
And there’s NOTHING wrong with that (seriously). I mean,
everyone wants to win, right?

Anyways, that’s just a partial approximation of my thoughts…may
have missed some, included a few new ones, but that was the basic framework. And, after posting, I received these messages:

– “I did enjoy watching Nye’s arguments, though. He did quite well explaining why the creation model is not viable. I hope he reached
at least one creation believer and opened some eyes about the lack of scientific education in X.”

Puppy: Interesting idea. And yes, if you want to recruit to the
side you believe in, one is better than none…and it all starts with one. And again, I have no problem with intellectual boxing (which is exactly what debates are: the weapons are words, not gloves…otherwise it’s mostly the same). On a PP note, I in fact BELIEVE in
evolution, because it seems much more plausible, given the evidence.
But I didn’t watch the debate…because I KNEW what would
happen. There would be no revelations, it’d be a rather dull boxing
match because Nye (from what I’ve seen in the past) is very
articulate and I never heard of the other guy, and unless I COMPLETELY hated every other comedy possibility out there, it wouldn’t be funny enough.
I’ve heard all the CA/A jokes before. They’re repetitive. They’re repetitive. They’re repetitive. They’re repetitive. And of course,
they’re repetitive. And most of ’em just AREN’T funny.
I mean, I LIKE funny.

– “I watched it for the same reason I watch any debate. To see two
(or more) arguments and hopefully learn something from at least
one side. It might not be a couple of prize fighters, but that doesn’t
make the ‘fight’ any less interesting.”

Puppy: Agreed. Also, I was a bit snarky here to you, I admit freely.
And for that, I am sorry. I think it was the near-certain revelation that someone would just randomly flame/trash me.

– “You asked and I answered based on my reasoning. I can agree
with your ‘my guy vs. yours’ mentality that some may have, and I
concede that I also wanted to see Nye pick his arguments apart, mercilessly. However, there is really no reason to watch a debate if you are close minded. You need to critically think about both sides and take in all of the arguments to understand their platforms and ultimately take your own stance…I learned from Nye’s arguments. I have watched a lot of religion vs. science debates and know how they go. It doesn’t mean I don’t learn anything from them. I have also learned a lot about many religious views. You can’t have personal discussions with anyone without knowledge of their world views.”

Agreed, and in retrospect, I was a bit snarky here too. My
apologies. After that, there was a seemingly genuine emotional tangent that I do not have. I think it was an over-reaction, perhaps to my snarkiness (to an extent deserved, then) or perhaps just to get some anger and frustration out. And it is something that I am not prepared to respond to.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

5/25/16: If debates aren’t intellectual boxing, why do they ALWAYS – before anything else – ask who analysts think “won” the debate? I mean…they go to the judge’s score cards. Any questions about “Hey, I learned X…” or “Do you think the American people know more now about X?” are totally secondary to “Who won???”

10/16/16: Just some basic format edits, content unchanged. (housekeeping)

Random Insults

The Matter-Of-Fact Insult

“Mr. Longdale here will keep you company.”
“Why me??”
“Because I don’t like you, Mr. Longdale.”

The Prideful-Turned-Meek Overconfidence Insult

“Quadrotriticale is not wheat, Captain.  Of course, I wouldn’t expect you or Mister Spock to know about such things, but quadrotriticale is a rather-“

“Quadrotriticale is a high-yield grain, a four-lobed hybrid of wheat and rye. A perennial, also, if I’m not mistaken. Its root grain, triticale, can trace its ancestry all the way back to twentieth century Canada-“

I have a feeling of Deja Vu…

If theists are sheep, then CA/A’s are Borg.

I’ll take organic, thanks.

Question I asked AT LEAST half a dozen times on Atheist Group Pages and received only one response, which was worthy of (see below): What exactly does Wicca support/do that is harmful to the world in general?  Or to anyone, at all, individually?   *Crickets*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

“If it harms none then do as you will.”

That is really, really funny…because it’s basically The Wiccan Rede.  Wicca is a religion.  This is in the mission statement of a CA/A group.  So…they want to do away with Wicca, even though they agree with it?  I…can’t wrap my mind around that logically.  Unless it’s a hidden appeal to Wiccans, or a softening of the hard-line stance that has been softening actually for quite some time:  Most anger dispensed with, most CA/A’s are now trying a more “friendly” MO.  Which is GOOD…but are they doing it because they’re suddenly friendly?  Or because they know it’s a good PR move?

PUPPY NOTE: Since erased.  Minitrue!

J.J.: You’re terrible at writing.
Puppy: It wasn’t all that terrible…
J.J.: “,,,Completely unreadable. Like a highschool banged it out in an hour.”
Puppy: Unreadable?  But…you read it. And how many highschools can, themselves, write?
J.J: (Edited for mistake, understandable given the angst involved (I’m not joking)):  Completely unreadable. Like a highschool girl banged it out in an hour.
Puppy: HAHAHA! A forced edit. +1 for me.

2/4/14: Puppy: Well, since I’m not smarter than a 5th grader, that’s actually somewhat flattering.  I mean, I’m writing FOUR GRADES (at least) above my potential.

Moral of the story: Never send a 9 when you need at least a 6.  (That’s not a sexual reference).

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Puppy Edit: 2/12/14 – The SCARY thing is…I have a very strong feeling that there are a considerable number of CA/A’s actively HOPING for a Wiccan to go insane and do something really evil, just so the CA/A’s can include (somewhat accurately) “Wicca” as a dangerous religion.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The clip I included…is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. At no point in its rambling, incoherent playing did it approach anything resembling a rational thought. (housekeeping)

Just Wondering Here…

To whomever is in charge of that big picture of  “All the Famous Atheists In History” that you’ll meet if there is a Hell, “you’ll have great company…blah blah blah”:

Why isn’t Woody Allen on there?  He’s more famous and (supposedly) talented than a lot of them (again, supposedly…I think he’s a fcken humorless hack).

I mean, he’s OBVIOUSLY famous enough…vis:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/01/showbiz/dylan-farrow-open-letter/

So why is he not there?

Maybe (probably) he WAS there, but the Ministry of Truth decided he wasn’t there.  He wasn’t there and he never had been there.

And on Wikipedia, when it lists “famous” atheists, where is Benito Mussolini, among MANY others who were fcken sleazeballs?  I mean, the title of the entry is “List of Atheists”…and it has plenty that lived and died BEFORE Mussolini, and AFTER Mussolini.

But Benito apparently isn’t famous enough, as the ORIGINATOR OF FASCISM, to make the list.

But Stieg Larsson…ABSOLUTELY.

Answer?  Propaganda.  Even if your self-proclaimed purpose is to “educate” and “show the truth”, I guess lying via omission is still ok.  Cuz, you know, the “Common Good”…Mussolini’s inclusion (among many others, mind you) might turn people OFF the facts, and CA/A’s can’t have that.  Even though Mussolini IS a fact, it’s justifiable to leave him off the list, even if it is (and it IS) a lie by omission.

So screw anyone that doesn’t like the Nazi comparisons brought up, as a “logical fallacy”.

Mussolini INVENTED (with some help, but…) modern-day Fascism.  He was ADMIRED greatly by Hitler.  Pretty fcken direct reference, I think.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part 6

The holey Trinity: Grumpy, Drunk, Stoned

If one can be so, be stoned.
If not, be drunk.
If not, be grumpy.

And, of course, related to the first and second: If one can use funds made possible by (potential) IRS avoidance activities, ALWAYS use at least 10 percent each on Drunk and Stoned.

The word is the Law, and the Law is the word, and the movie is a cr@ppy Corman flick.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

American Psycho (2000)

Christian Bale performs very well as an alternately boring/psychotic yuppie.  The boring is easy for Bale…and there’s a lot more boring than psychotic, so it’s pretty much his perfect role.

Why?  Because even for a sh1tty actor with very limited range, two emotions (apathetic and psychotic) are easy enough to get down.

There’s also a lot of meaningless drivel as Bale’s character descends further and further into insanity.  But he’s still pretty boring.

His fascination with 80’s music isn’t a great low-key setup for anything.  It’s just dull.  And he’s got sh1tty taste.

Grade: D

4/7/14: OK, OK…it’s not THAT bad.  I still have no use for Christian Bale as an actor in general, but as I said, this is his perfect role.  And his dullness IS funny at times, and there are some moments so ridiculous that they’re amusing and some juxtapositions (hey, mighty fancy word) that are interesting because they’re so different. 

Inspirational Quote: “Yes, it is!”

Grade: C-

Quote Of The Day – Morality > Science

Spoiler Alert: From a good movie (‘Extreme Measures’). If you haven’t seen it, this quote is better experienced that way.

“Maybe they are doing a great thing for the world. Maybe they are
heroes. But they didn’t choose to be. You chose for them. You
didn’t choose your wife or your granddaughter, you didn’t ask for volunteers. You chose for them. And you can’t do that, because
you’re a doctor, and you took an oath, and you’re not God. So I
don’t care, I don’t care if you can do what you say you can. I
don’t care if you find a cure for every disease on the planet!
YOU tortured and murdered those men upstairs, and that makes you a disgrace to your profession. And I hope you go to jail for the
rest of your life.”

There are some who call him…Tim (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Puppy Preface:  I went on a “Roleplay-Enforced” MUD, of my own volition.  Therefore I had to expect that I (and everyone else) would roleplay…that is, play their character, not act however they feel, scorned and embarrassed or not.

So I played a character, who was sweet and rather naive.  So when some guy (character) tried to force me, sexually, I played as she would.  When he made her “forget” it had happened and instead made her go to the bathroom and masturbate (how gallant!) to…not really sure I understand this…but to confirm his power and “manhood”, guess what?  I did it.  And when I had to come back to him, pretending nothing had happened…even though PLAYER (me) was outraged, I did NOTHING but play my character:  Nice, considerate, naive, trusting.  And I think I did rather well…you know…ROLEPLAYING.

So when, the next day, I complain IN CHARACTER to someone after they help me figure out what really happened, and the offending character goes off and sulks because he (player) doesn’t like that, it’s a really SAD testament to roleplaying.  I was sad when I had to roleplay liking the schmuck, but I did it…because I’m a ROLEPLAYER…some people need to learn this.

But I degress:

When you can’t get any in real life, try Timothy’s M* School:

“With a slight memory twist, Timothy left Sashana believing that their conversation and his light fondling was him attempting to seduce her.”

Puppy: Is “light fondling” now considered an acceptable means of “flirtation” or “seduction”?

OR Puppy: Oh, hey, wow…yeah, light fondling is a great first move, huh Tim?  I think he watched that MST3K short more than I watched the flippin’ Mummy: “Tackling her from behind is the first step.”
I especially like his clarification: It’s only LIGHT fondling.

“In a library no less, in a private room, he wanted to get her clothes hiked up so he could take her right there on the table.”

Puppy: You wanted to hike up my socks?

“Perhaps she was flattered?”

Puppy: Oh, I don’t know…

OR Puppy: Oh yeah, and you can insinuate HOW you want the intended target to respond.  If so…what’s the point of even playing, Tim?  I mean, just emote that you’re fcking everyone, logoff and make the game that much better.

“But the man’s power was overwhelming and she had to escape…to her relief, found in the bathroom.”

Puppy: “Ok, now this is where, if you DON’T wanna get forced, you have to go masturbate.” – Someone’s apparent thought process.  I mean…when you think about it, it’s just DUMB…it’s fantasy so I’m not gonna get riled up over it (See “Roleplaying”, above) but…WTF is this guy thinking?

OR Puppy: This is great…this is the part where Timmy forces my character to masturbate after failing his “Bleedin’ Obvious Non-Subtlety” roll.  And doesn’t realize she was a virgin.  And then he asks her straight out.  Perhaps, Tim, next time you find a MUSHSEX partner, you should be sure of their info before you assault them in a public place.

“<OOC> You say, “Please skip the subjective analysis of your own behavior I’m sure you’re manly, but that’s hardly appropriate.”

Puppy:  That was me, word for word.  I cannot improve on it.  He was talking about how amazing my orgasm had to be, how manly he was…I felt like watching ‘Men In Tights’.

“Timothy says, “Hmm. She would know that he is probably concerned that if she were a virgin that he inadvertently took that.”

Puppy: And HOW would he “inadvertently” take that?  A REALLLLLY long detachable penis with a mind of its own?

The search continues…

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Pupdate – 1/27/14

For the past few months, my review of ‘The Devil’s Rock’ has been getting a substantial amount of hits.

Now, how I feel about that is, like the F&P, two ways:
1) Thanks, that’s rather flattering actually…and…
2) WTF is wrong with you people?? I’ve written a helluva lot of sh1t more witty than that.

Oh well…time for some boiling Cointreau.

-Puppy >.< Ruff!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 50)

In a world…

So, basically someone should make a movie about vampires vs. humans for total world domination…and the vampires are winning, then someone (human) prays or does something really cool/weird/unusual to invoke Ed Harris’s voice saying “Cue the Sun.”

Then there’s a decisive turn in the war, and the humans win.

And they get along for a coupla weeks after that…like in that sh1tty Independence movie, and then it’s back to work hating each other for really really dumb reasons.

Run with it.  And come on; swing baby, you’re platinum.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Monster Club (1980)

It’s a laidback (monster) club setup where Vincent Price tells some non-monster guy 3 stories.  In between, there’s horrible club music numbers.  I mean, they really are both cheezy and annoying at the same time.

I used to really like this, when I was just an itsy bitsy teensy weensy little…schmeensy.

1: Sensitive, truly romantic monster gets seduced by a scheming human.  There’s very little horror here, but some thriller and decent drama. And a littttle bit of comedy.

2: Dull, boring mini-flick.  With an unfortunate helping of Donald Unpleasance.  Tiny twist at the end doesn’t save it.

3: Man gets trapped in a village of Ghoulish man-eaters.  Some interesting things happen, and the ending is good and kinda creepy.

Inspirational Speech: Vincent Price at the end.

Grade: D

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C-

OK, I said I wouldn’t, so…Let’s Vague!

“I make you a counterproposal…I’ll agree to your terms, IF…IF you follow your own rules and regulations.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNFQw8VIvA

Inky’s got major BLINKY, baby!

Oh, here’s what to say if you’ve been hunting rats too long:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idO3VjT8sjk

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – I don’t have a fever, but the second clip shows in a very straightforward and firm way how sometimes people GET fevers, and they must be treated. (housekeeping)

Deadly Cinema (2003-2005)

Really horrible acting and poor-at-best writing make up the “sketches” in between the horrible movies. 

The “star”, Jami Deadly, is as bad as all the rest of the cast.  She’s got a sort of a wanna-be Elvira, wanna-be Crypt Keeper mixture going on.

It’s like going to a local club for sketch comedy on a bad night.  And if you watch more than one of these just to make sure it wasn’t a temporary blip…well let’s say, very kindly, that you’re a very trusting and also very desperate soul.

I only watched the host segments, and only a few of them.  So, take it as an incomplete…but mainly take it as “So bad from what I saw that I’m gonna switch to ‘Manos'”

DO NOT be fooled by people who compare this to MST3K, or even Elvira.  Or Joe Bob Briggs.  Or anyone currently on the air that doesn’t suck.  It’s DULL…and it only got life, IMPO, because people were jonesing for some MST3K.

Room 237 (2012)

My GOD is this pretentious.  You don’t sit there and feel surprised/enlightened…just bored, really.

Points out all the “hidden messages” in the movie ‘The Shining’.

Watch ‘The Shining’ instead.  If you want conspiracy messages/random theories about it, look online.  Don’t waste 1:43 of your time here.

This documentary should have come out as French, with English subtitles.

Guest IQ: “[Kubrick] didn’t tell an audience what to think or how to think and if everyone came out thinking something differently that was fine with him. That said, I’m certain that he wouldn’t have wanted to listen to about 70, or maybe 80 percent [of Room 237]… Because it’s pure gibberish.” -Leon Vitali

Grade: F

Tales From The Crypt – Episode 32 (Easel Kill Ya)

Tim Roth stars in this one as a REALLY creepy painter.  Good acting by him…decent theory…well done.  I particularly like the “cops with dogs” scene that Roth TRIES to stay calm about.  Cuz they KNEW, man…they could smell it.

I still prefer ‘A Maid On A Night Out Winding A Grandfather’s Clock With Her Left Hand’.  Not to mention Michelangelo’s ‘Two Muscular Guys Touching Fingers’.  And, of COURSE, ‘Dogs Playing Poker’.