A Clever Puppy Who Yips Loudly In Restaurants

Who’s Next (1971)

I wish I liked this album just a little bit more than I do.  Why?  Because I “admire” the songs more than I actually LIKE them.  There are lots of good points on the album, but also a lot of something I don’t like.  No, not filler…there isn’t a truly weak track on the whole thing.  I’m talking about maudlin sentimentality.  If Pete Townshend could (or would) just rock a little more, I think the whole album would improve.  It’s got a fey sort of quality that turns me off even as it turns me on.  Very strange, I know.  And there are definite rocking and/or intriguing moments aplenty.  At the heart of the album is “Behind Blue Eyes”, which I like completely and without reservation, partly because like many others, I can relate to it on some level.  And because the lyrics, for lack of a better term, kick a$$.
(“Behind Blue Eyes”, “Won’t Get Fooled Again”)

Grade: B+

2010: I’ve grown to like it more.

Grade: A-

Quadrophenia (1973)

This band seems to enjoy sampling itself on some albums.  Basically, using the same riff and musical structure over and over again in different songs.  This could signal two things, depending on how much you like and “trust” them.  Either Pete Townshend has a limited musical resource collection and uses this “building riff” system to make songwriting easier, or he’s intentionally building up to several climaxes at the “high points” of the albums.  ‘Tommy’ is an obvious example of this.  The one thing that always seems to be different on this album is the lyrics.  Townshend obviously enjoys the rock-opera stylings that grace this album and others, and he seems self-absorbed enough to write the entire thing any which way he chooses, without regard for public regard and/or sales. Personally, I get sick of it pretty quickly.  When he doesn’t try so d@mn hard to make a story out of an album, this gets pretty good.  But those moments aren’t enough.  Townshend’s rock-opera stylings have much in common with musicals.  And as far as musicals go, I don’t go for them with some notable exceptions (‘Rocky Horror’).
(“Love, Reign O’er Me”)

Grade: C

My Generation- The Very Best Of The Who (1996)

Never been a big Who fan, so even their best isn’t all that great to me.  Lots of it, though, and it’s mildly enjoyable (almost) throughout.
(“I Can See For Miles”)

Grade: B

2010: …VERY enjoyable (almost) throughout.

Grade: A-

The Yes Album (1971)

No contender to rival their best album, it still knocks out their worst (assuming you can’t get much worse than ‘Close To The Edge’. Then again, I’ve yet to have the honor of hearing ‘Tales From Topographic Oceans’. Yuck). “Yours Is No Disgrace” is constructed around Steve Howe’s killer riffs, and “Starship Trooper” features some great mounting guitar-plus-noise, culminating in a guitar war with himself for Mr. Howe. His contributions are marvelous, and I’d dare say he’s one of my favorite guitarists, when he’s on.
Which he certainly is here.
(“Yours Is No Disgrace”, “Starship Trooper”)

Grade: B

2011: Steve Howe is the attraction here. Without him they’re mediocre, and with him not caring/trying they’re mediocre. He’s trying on this album. I don’t think there’s anything special about “I’ve Seen All Good People” lyrically, because Jon Anderson just writes whatever he thinks is profound at the moment and while most of the time it’s just nonsense, statistically you have to be coherent once in a while. I like the SONG because of the music, the way the different parts mesh together and form a synthesis (like, I don’t know, classical music and hard rock) that is greater than…you know. But the real reason to listen to this is that Howe’s riffs will rock your socks off. He is absolutely out of his mind on “Starship Trooper” and “Yours Is No Disgrace”, and the other band members contribute well enough to back him up and make it stick.
(“Yours Is No Disgrace”, “Starship Trooper(Wurm)”)

Grade: B+

8/21/23: It’s just far too weak (and non Howe-ish) after “I’ve Seen All Good People”.

Grade: B

Fragile (1972)

A great art-rock album, this one never lets up. The song fragments are interesting and appropriate, providing imagery to enliven the longer proceedings here very well.
The two long songs that open and close the album are d@mn good. There are no bad songs…this is one of the few that you can put on and never have to worry about when to fast forward past that embarrassing track. Admittedly, it’s much better when you’re drunk. But that’s only to say that it is bordering on heaven (ahem, “We Have Heaven”) when wasted. Sober, it falls back to ordinary run-of-the-mill great.
(“Roundabout”, “We Have Heaven”, “Heart Of The Sunrise”)

Grade: A

Close To The Edge (1972)

Too close to the edge. They must have fallen in. The only one I’ll really miss is Steve Howe.

Grade: D

Tales From Topographic Oceans (1974)

Finally having heard this album, I run to the safety, comfort, and incredible quality of ‘Close To The Edge’. Compared to this, ‘Close’ is a masterpiece.
There are four “songs” here, and they’re all incredibly boring and completely free from musical quality or anything even approaching a good vocal or instrumental hook. Quite possibly the worst album I’ve ever heard.

Grade: F

La Sexorcisto (1992)

Deja Vu.  Or Vuja De, since this was reviewed after ‘Astro-Creep’, but came out before it.  One good song leading us trusting folk astray.
(“Thunder Kiss ’65”)

Grade: D+

Astro-Creep: 2000 (1995)

A friend of mine many years ago bought this album based on (in his view) the great single, “More Human Than Human”.  His direct appraisal of the rest of the album was that it, and I quote, “sucked”.  But that’s too strong of a negative analysis.  “An album far less cr@ppy than the previous one” might be appropriate.

Grade: C

Weezer (1994)

This is rather silly.  I never was much of a fan of silly rock.  Silly pop, maybe.  But I don’t want lyrics about sweaters and such bringing down my enjoyment of power chords.  Inconsistent, too.  A good band could get away with inane lyrics, but I’m afraid this band isn’t quite good enough.
(“Say It Ain’t So”)

Grade: C

2012: Comparatively brilliant.  Come on, I just listened to ‘Degradation Trip’.

Grade: B-

Elephant (2003)

I’m definitely racist in terms of my musical Jacks. I prefer White over Black any day. Which isn’t an insult to Jack Black…after all, he has acting skill (?) to fall back on. Oh…the album review. Sorry. Uneven but entertaining rock/pop with hooks.
(“Seven Nation Army”)

Grade: B-

Get Behind Me Satan (2005)

The sound of most of this album is so similar to ‘Elephant’ that it’s either comforting or depressing, depending on whether or not you prefer musicians who “grow” or those that use the same formula each time out.  That’s not a criticism, just an observation.  Myself, I like to hear a good formula repeated over and over again as long as it produces similarly good results.  When the results start to wane, perhaps it’s time to branch out a little.  I suppose the guitar parts here are a bit different than ‘Elephant”s in that they perform at unexpected and unusual times, with mixed results.  I know, you’ve heard this before: songwriting.  ‘Elephant’ without the hits.  It’s not embarrassing…maybe some good cocktail music at your next party.  You know, music that doesn’t demand attention and just sort of fades into the background as you go about your business.

Grade: D+

Braveheart Soundtrack (1995)

I’m a bit biased, as this is (one of) my favorite movie(s) of all time. That probably makes me overly generous in reviewing the soundtrack.
I will say that it does drag and/or become overly repetitive at a few points, and if you hate classical music you’ll probably hate this. I myself am neutral on classical music. This soundtrack, however, captures quite well the spirit of each scene it was written for. Now go watch the movie, if you haven’t yet.
(“Revenge”, “Making Plans/Gathering The Clans”)

Grade: A-

MTV Buzz Bin, Volume 1 (1996)

I absolutely adore compilations like this. That is, compilations of (mostly) good songs that make it unnecessary to shell out good money for the entire album.
Of course, today it’s a little different, given that you can get any single song you want online. Some of these songs are on worthwhile albums, but
there’s enough that aren’t to make it quite a nice little purchase.
(“Low”, “Creep”, “Everything Zen”)

Grade: A

The Rocky Horror Picture Show – Original Soundtrack (1975)

Do you like camp? Really? I’m talking major-league camp. I’m talking original ‘STAR TREK’ CAMP! If your answer is still yes, you’ll enjoy at least some of this.
In my opinion this demented little album peaks a little too soon, then fades. Generally people either love it or hate it. I don’t hate it. I SHOULD, I know…it’s utterly ridiculous. But sometimes, when you’re in a bad mood, “Time Warp” will come on the radio and get your toes a tappin’
(“Time Warp”)

Grade: C

2010: Hey, it makes you smile.

Grade: C+

Singles Soundtrack (1992)

The “soundtrack to my generation”, I’ve heard this called. And while I like that idea in theory (it would make a nice conversation piece), the material is far too spotty to even approach such an accolade.
(“Would?”, “Nearly Lost You”)

Grade: C+

Greatest Hits (1995)

I have nothing against guitar Gods.  Sure, I think Hendrix is overrated. He had a revolutionary style, but his songwriting skills were far below his guitar playing.  So I listened to this album with an open mind before deciding that despite a beautiful (and superior to the original) cover of Hendrix’s “Little Wing”, this wasn’t really for my tastes.  Will you like it?  If you don’t demand songform with your (d@mn) good guitar noise, probably.
(“Little Wing”)

Grade: C+

Bloody Kisses (1993)

If they have one, this is the definitive, good Type O album. Sure they went a little commercial, but you can’t call them sellouts when they include a little ditty called “Kill All The White People” on their album.
(“Christian Woman”, “Black No. 1”)

Inspirational Quote: “Lovin’ you was like lovin’ the dead.”

Grade: B+

2012: Proof that “goth” can be intelligent, snide, and funny without being mean. Rarely. It’s a huge bundle of riffs, harmony, fake-vampire growls and jokes.
It’s also the best “gothic”-ish album I’ve ever heard. And I’ve heard a lot of them. P. Steele was laughing the whole time.

Grade: A-

October Rust (1996)

A huge dropoff after ‘Bloody Kisses’, this pretty much destroys any pop credibility that this band had gained from their previous effort.  Not that they really care at all, necessarily.  ‘Bloody Kisses’ made them comfortably well off, and they can tour all the time and put out the occasional album with the occasional good song and keep chugging for many years to come.

Grade: C-

World Coming Down (1999)

I guess this is what non-fans (I’m on the fence) hear when they listen to Type-O…murky, overblown, overly dramatic, poor in the lyrics department and without a single noteworthy musical idea.  I’m not even going to acknowledge the Beatles cover.  This album should be avoided at all costs.

Grade: F

Life Is Killing Me (2003)

Full of filler and a couple of decent songs, this is Type O Negative at their true talent level: mediocre, if that, with one brief shining moment of very-goodness (‘Bloody Kisses’).

Grade: D+

Boy (1980)

Talk about your rock n’ roll turnarounds.  Starting off as a fresh-faced, young, peacefully Christian band, they eventually moved into some pretty strange areas, musically and image-wise.  Bono wearing all black and sunglasses??  What the fck is that all about?  Was it artistic freedom on display as they changed their image and sound so much by the time of ‘Achtung Baby’?  Maybe.  But I liked them a lot better when The Edge’s guitar rang out strong and pure, saving even the most inane Bono-produced lyrics from the garbage heap.  Like here, for instance.

Grade: C+

October (1981)

Let’s get to the two main points here.  One, I like this widely dismissed album.  Two, Bono has never written worse lyrics than he does here, and he probably never will.  That being said, the question is why like an album whose lyrics range from competent-at-best to downright embarrassing and grimace-inducing?  Because even on the bad ones, The Edge chimes in with wonderful, crooked guitar noise.  He’s never been as consistent in his playing before or after this album, and it is an absolute pleasure to hear his commentary.  Too bad Bono couldn’t at least provide decent lyrics.  Then this might be a classic (seriously!).  Example- “Scarlet”, which has one word in it (repeated several times, and not for effect, but because Bono couldn’t think of anything else), but which is made by The Edge’s repeated, slightly altered call-and-response guitar.
(“I Threw A Brick Through A Window”)

Grade: B

The Joshua Tree (1987)

Well, they certainly know their good songs from their not-so-good ones.  The four best start the album off, and make it worth owning even if the rest is old tat (and most of it is).  Sadly beautiful, elegantly framed by The Edge’s guitar, their best album is a treat to listen to on occasion.
(“With Or Without You”, “Bullet The Blue Sky”)

Grade: B+

The Best Of: 1980-1990 (1998)

“Best of” is, of course, a matter of opinion.  I really don’t know why some bands call their compilations “best of” and others “greatest hits”.  In either case, it’s generally untrue, whether based on opinion (everyone has a different idea about what the absolute best is) or based on absolute fact (if you call an album “greatest hits”, you should probably put all their…wanna guess?  RIGHT!  All their GREATEST HITS on it).  Invariably that doesn’t happen, as the band chooses to slap on an album cut they like and stiff you on the other HIT you thought you paid for.  This is not, in my opinion, the best U2 album that could have been constructed from 1980-1990 material.  I’d stick three or four different songs on it, including of course “I Threw A Brick Through A Window”.  But I’m just quibbling for the sake of padding out the review.  It’s a great album, no question.  I could have made an A+.  They apparently are content with a slightly lower grade.  Fine.  See if I care.  Sniff sniff.
(“With Or Without You”, “Desire”, “I Will Follow”)

Grade: A

Bridge Of Sighs (1985)

Don’t get excited by comparisons to Jimi Hendrix, good or bad.  He’s obviously not Jimi Hendrix, but to say or believe he’s worthless because he sounds verrrrry similar to a guitar God is to say that all Jimmy Page, Joe Perry, etc. imitators and followers are cr@p.  Which wouldn’t be fair to a lot of good music.  Bottom line, almost every song has been written at least in part by someone else already, so if that bothers you so much you should throw out all your “imitator” albums.  The only problem I have with my own logic and my strong defense is that this album sucks beyond the title cut.  But that’s no reason to hate the man.

Grade: D

Feelin’ Alright: The Very Best Of Traffic (2000)

I’m not even a fan, really.  I just kinda like “Low Spark” and had lots of available cash at the time.  So I bought a best-of, figuring it would be, at least, tolerable.  And it is, for the most part.  But it isn’t any friggin GOOD.  Back to the drawing board.
(“The Low Spark Of High-Heeled Boys”)

Grade: C

Volume 1 (1988)

I love the idea of this “Supergroup”, even though it claims Bob Dylan as one of its members. Dylan and Geddy Lee are waging a furious battle for worst vocalist in the known universe. Dylan’s winning, because he refuses to disguise the vocal terror that is his natural singing/talking-along-with-music voice. But I have no objections
to the others, and it seemed something really nice could come from this. I’m not wholly disappointed, as this album does have two viable good songs on it, but it should have more…especially considering that there are four decent songwriters in the band. Oh well. You live, you learn to accept disappointment.
Great vocal by Harrison on the opening cut.
(“Handle With Care”)

Grade: C

Opiate (1992)

Still your worst drug value.

Grade: F

Undertow (1993)

In retrospect, they’ve gotten better and better with each album up to 2001’s ‘Lateralus’.  This is a leap ahead of ‘Opiate’ (thank God) but several steps behind ‘Aenima’, not a bad thing.
(“Sober”)

Grade: C+

Aenima (1996)

GREAT first two songs and album cover.  Could it turn out to be a masterpiece?  No.  Reason?  You can’t really have an entire album full of only good/great songs, unless that album is called “Greatest Hits”, and even then it’s iffy depending on the song selection and the quality/consistency of the band.  The song fragments here are annoying and unnecessary, they add nothing to the album.  The final song is a waste of time, and rather annoying itself.  Besides that, there are several other fairly-good-to-good songs here to back up the opening salvo.
(“Eulogy”, “Stinkfist”)

Grade: B+

4/20/13: The album cover don’t enter into it, but it’s still cool. Re: the “reason”, that’s not true. You CAN have an entire album full of only good/great songs, but it’s not common, and you need more talent than this band has. And “Eulogy” should have been last, not second, unless the actual concept here is “wretched song-order placement”.

Grade: B+

Lateralus (2001)

Lurking at that point between B and A, I’m torn.  Some of the songs are hooky, well sung, and well written.  Some others merely have mild atmospheric charm.  In the end, the good songs just aren’t quite good enough to push them over the edge and into a stellar grade.  Nice try, though.
(“Schism”, “Reflection”)

Grade: B+

10,000 Days (2006)

It all sort of blends together and it all sort of sounds the same.  A bit boring after two good albums, both of which had the advantage of much better gloomy riff/vocal noise.  This may well be the end.

Grade: D+

Third Eye Blind (1997)

They put all the good stuff at the beginning.  After track 6, do yourself a favor and reset it to the beginning, or better yet take it off and put on something better.
(“Losing A Whole Year”)

Grade: B-

Lemon Parade (1996)

The big hit got boring REALLY fast.  So then we move on to the lesser hits and album tracks, which have their moments.  They’ve either aged better, been better right from the start, or (probably) have not been listened to nearly as much.  It’s comforting to know some of my albums degrade and date themselves as the days go by.  Do I sound bitter to you?
(“Open Up Your Eyes”)

Grade: C+

Temple Of The Dog (1991)

I used to ADORE this album, especially the hypnotic and powerful “Hunger Strike”.  But I’ve found myself getting sick of the (two) songs I never really loved all that much, and my passion for a lot of the “good” songs has turned into more of an admiration at accomplishment than a desire to actually listen to them.  Of course, things like that can happen when an album’s in heavy rotation in one’s playback device of choice for months.  Take this grade as a composite of my former adoration and my current admiration and simple appreciation.  It could go back up, it could just as easily plummet off the radar.  I hope it goes up, because I WANT to like this album.
(“Wooden Jesus”, “Hunger Strike”, “Say Hello 2 Heaven”)

Grade: A-

2012:  This is a beautiful and moving tribute made for one reason – Love.  Twenty years later, it still blows me away at times.  A classic.

Grade: A

Welcome (2002)

Thank You.  Goodbye.

Grade: F

Tears Roll Down (1992)

With this band I generally agree with your average consumer.  The hits from ‘Songs From The Big Chair’ are very good, a couple of others are pretty good, and the rest is just above synthesized boredom.  Luckily, their best album had legitimate hits, and they’re all here.  I have a bit of a soft spot for this band, so their weak tracks/filler don’t/doesn’t bother me too much.
(“Shout”, “Sowing The Seeds Of Love”)

Grade: B

Head Trip In Every Key (1998)

Not just a (minor) hit here: They string together enough musical decency to almost warrant purchase.  But almost isn’t enough, especially when you can’t quite find a viable second single on the entire album.

Grade: C-

System Of A Down (1998)

A major annoyance when they don’t have the music to backup their poor vocals and spotty songwriting.  They admittedly do show at least the ability to hit the musical jugular on occasion.  Just need a little consistency, boys.
(“Sugar”)

Grade: C

Toxicity (2001)

Here we go…following up their self titled debut, they produce a decent album that’s mostly hard and fast but which has its “soft” moments.  Those moments I generally like, and a couple of the hard and fast ones are at least a small pleasure to listen to.
(“Chop Suey”, “Aerials”)

Grade: B-

Core (1992)

Sure, they weren’t on the level of the great grunge Gods. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t any good. Plenty of bands have sounds similar to another band. The difference in judging seems to be that when you don’t like the second band, they’re “unoriginal” and “posers”. When you DO like them, you prefer to call them whatever-band-they-sound-like esque. Kind of a silly way to go about reviews, don’t you think? This is a great album. Yes, great. Not good. Great. Got it? Good.
And in the name of all that is good and sacred, if that sounds familiar, Denis Leary deserves to be ripped…see “Bill Hicks”.
(“Sex Type Thing”, “Creep”, “Plush”, “Wicked Garden”)

Grade: A-

8/10/12: “Sex Type Thing” is either a rightfully vicious, sarcastic put-down of scumbag rapists/sexists/misogynists or it’s pro-rape. I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re not TOTAL SCUMBAGS and assume the former. I’ve heard “Excitable Boy”, and I don’t think Warren Zevon is pro-psycho-killer-turned-grave-robber.
Call me crazy. As for the music, it’s no more derivative than Zep was and it’s more consistent than anything Zep except ‘Zoso’. Suck it Trebek.

Grade: A

Purple (1994)

I really like this band. To hell with the critics. If they don’t know the difference between an album full of good riffs and a talentless, worthless copycat, that’s their problem. This is a great album, surprising even me (a fan already) and making me wonder if this band perhaps DOES deserve to hang out with the Gods of Grunge.
Alice In Chains was never this consistent, Soundgarden only did it once. Pearl Jam? Ok, that may be pushing it a bit too far. Nirvana? Alright, alright…I was just speculating.
(“Lounge Fly”, “Still Remains”, “Interstate Love Song”, “Big Empty”)

Grade: A

Tiny Music… Songs From The Vatican Gift Shop (1996)

Meaningless great hooky riffs are their style, not melodies. So when they lose them and try to go soft, they become mostly dull, hokey, and boring. And completely irrelevant, except for “Trippin’ On A Hole In A Paper Heart”, which has some great meaningless hooky riffs.
(“Trippin’ On A Hole In A Paper Heart”)

Grade: D+

No. 4 (1999)

“Down” and “Sour Girl” are the only songs worth your time. And you’ve heard “Down” before, in various (and superior) incarnations.
(“Sour Girl”)

Grade: C-

Reading, Writing, And Arithmetic (1989)

Pretty voice, to be sure, and powerful too when the occasion calls for it.  The problem, as usual, is in the songwriting.  This is mostly useless, but has a coupla moments that somewhat redeem it (not enough).
(“Here’s Where The Story Ends”)

Grade: C-

Second Coming (1994)

This begins and ends with a BANG.  Otherwise, it’s one of those guns that shoots out a little banner saying “bang!”.
(“Love Spreads”)

Grade: C-

A Decade Of Steely Dan (1985)

Yes, I LOVE greatest hits albums. Sure, you miss out on some interesting filler and the occasional underrated song, but at least (if the artist is halfway-decent) you get a good product worthy of many replays. This fits in nicely with that theory.
(“Bodhisattva”, “Do It Again”)

Grade: A-

2010: Tasty.

Grade: A

Fields Of Gold 1984-1994 (1994)

I understand ending a band on a great high note when you’re ending your musical career entirely.  I even understand making music in a solo career or another band after that…if that first project became everything you wanted it to be, you wouldn’t let it fall into decline just to make more money.  So I understand why Sting ended the Police after ‘Synchronicity’.  This is horribly average compared to the Police’s best-of.  But Sting, even on his own, has some undeniable talent.
(“Fortress Around Your Heart”)

Grade: B

Born In The USA (1984)

Yes, it has hits galore.  Yes, I recognize their validity.  But I question their quality.  “Born In The USA” is almost undeniable, with the drums pounding out the rhythm for Springsteen’s powerfully delivered lyrics.  My favorite is the much more sedate “I’m On Fire”, which features the creepy and haunting lyric “Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley through the middle of my skull”.  Wow.  But the rest just don’t resonate the same way.  It’s a very good album, though, and a nice piece of history.
(“I’m On Fire”, “Born In The USA”)

Grade: A-

Tunnel Of Love (1987)

I’ve never really had much belief in Springsteen’s myth.  After all, if he WAS the next Dylan, he would be as marginally interesting as that vastly overrated “artist”, whose career should have died a dignified death in the 70’s.  So, having said that, where does this much more talented artist fit in the musical landscape?  Well, ‘Born In The USA’ made him a superstar.  This is a relatively minor and laid-back effort.
(“One Step Up”)

Grade: B-

Rotting Pinata (1994)

Another band with hit-plus-filler, this one escapes a truly dismal grade by virtue of their hit and a little bit of interesting music also.
(“Plowed”)

Grade: C-

The Best Of Spirit (1973)

“Mechanical World”, written in part by future Heart (Huh?? Something here is kind of weird) bassist (for Heart’s famous commercial-sellout years) Mark Andes, comes out of nowhere and mesmerizes you with its changes in tempo, instrumental mastery, and air of lonely beauty.  The rest is written by others, and doesn’t hold a candle to Mark’s early-life peak achievement.
(“Mechanical World”)

Grade: C+

Louder Than Love (1989)

Big Dumb Album.

Grade: D

Badmotorfinger (1991)

A quantum leap up from ‘Louder Than Love’, this album is quite respectable, if not fully likeable. In retrospect, it fits nicely in the middle of a BAD record (‘Louder Than Love’) and a GREAT one (‘Superunknown’).
(“Outshined”, “Rusty Cage”)

Grade: B-

2012: I grew up in the 80’s, so the thought that this music gets better with age because of all the sh1t I hear these days is inapplicable. The sh1t from the 80’s doesn’t get any better. Upped a grade for sonics alone.

Grade: B

Superunknown (1994)

Fourteen out of fifteen. That’s a pretty good ratio. Where the HELL did this come from? The lyrics are often puzzling, but the music more than makes up when necessary. Where else can you find a song about a guy who plays at being a drummer with some spoons and a few plastic barrels that is actually GOOD? It’s quite good, actually. Some of these hooks are downright dangerous – they’ll dig into your inner musical junkie and demand satisfaction from time to time. And you’ll enjoy every minute.
(“Fell On Black Days”, “Head Down”, “Like Suicide”, “Fresh Tendrils”)

Grade: A+

Down On The Upside (1996)

It was impossible to follow ‘Superunknown’ with anything as good…that was probably a once-in-a-lifetime album by an otherwise maddeningly inconsistent, occasionally really bad band. So they put out something with almost as much material as ‘Superunknown’, and at least can’t be faulted for trying. I’m a big fan of quitting at your peak, but in this case I’m somewhat glad they didn’t, as this is a decent album, with a coupla songs that could have fit on ‘Superunknown’.
(“Blow Up The Outside World”, “Applebite”)

Grade: C+

2012: See ‘Badmotorfinger – 2012’.

Grade: B-

A-Sides (1997)

Not worth it. Not because the music is bad, but because everything good here is good somewhere else, with MORE good stuff.

‘Superunknown’ by itself is better than this. ‘Badmotorfinger’ is worth owning, and maybe ‘Down On The Upside’.

The early stuff is just inferior versions of later, greater stuff.

Grade: B

Telephantasm (2010)

Ummm…yeah. See above.

Grade: B

Irresistible Bliss (1996)

With the exception of “Soundtrack To Mary”…I THINK I’M GONNA HURL!

Grade: D+

Gish (1991)

I had almost completely forgotten about this album, just like ‘Siamese Dream’ Unlike ‘Siamese Dream’, however, this one does let up a bit after the first two songs.
The rest is basically filler…very good filler, but filler nevertheless.  That being said, I can listen to the entire album without pain and without falling asleep.
(“I Am One”, “Siva”)

Grade: B

2012: Very good filler…hmmm…if it’s very good, how can I call it filler? I can’t. STUPID STUPID!

Grade: B+

Siamese Dream (1993)

Wow…I had almost completely forgotten about this group for a long time…I used to play this almost every day, but I grew sick of it, and my liking of it plummeted.
Listening to it now, I realize how good, nay great, an album this really was/is. It begins with a flourish, and unlike ‘Gish’, it never lets up after that.
(“Today”, “Cherub Rock”, “Luna”)

Grade: A

Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness (1995)

A great album to impress your girlfriend with if you don’t have a “sensitive” side but want to pretend you do. Or, the Luther Vandross of Alt-Rock. Otherwise it’s spotty.
(“1979”)

Grade: C+

2012: Two things…I ripped the riff from Tom Servo, and “1979” is very good.

Grade: B-

Adore (1998)

A promising beginning to the album, but the excitement of that quickly fades as the songs go on, sixteen of them total. The “sound” of the Pumpkins is there, this is not a failed departure. This is a failed Pumpkins album. This would appear to be the end…a pity, because I believe from the sound of the album and all the usual layers of music that Billy Corgan really tried this time out. D’Arcy and James Iha cannot be blamed for this failure, as Corgan goes to pains to label each and every song as his. Note to Billy: when the album is weak, don’t prove it’s your fault of your own free will.

Grade: C

2012: “Perfect” is the ultimate ITunes grab.

Grade: C-

Singles (1995)

How soon is now, anyway?  I don’t believe in the concept of time.

Grade: D-

Daydream Nation (1988)

A horrible, boring record.  Period.

Grade: F

Washing Machine (1995)

Up until the very end, an effort worthy of ‘Daydream Nation”s complete and utter failure.  Then they hit you with a song that has riffs galore, intriguing vocals, and fascinating lyrics.

I’m shocked.
(“The Diamond Sea”)

Grade: D

Rabies (1989)

This one captured my attention on a late night drive to a club with a then-friend of mine and his then-girlfriend.  I may have been drinking before listening to it.  I cannot justify its existence when I’m sober.

Grade: D

Slave To The Grind (1991)

As far as 80’s hair-metal bands went, I never really hated these guys even after their very brief musical reign was overthrown by Seattle.  The reason?  Because as is shown here, they can actually rock hard, even if their intent is far greater than their ability.  They also can write “Monkey Business”, a song that declared that they weren’t intending on fading away like the more balladish-pop-metal of Poison, Bon Jovi, Winger, etc etc.  Unfortunately for them, they did fade rather quickly, as former fans switched allegiance to their grunge band of choice.  And after listening to this entire album hoping for more “Monkey Business” type music, I discovered that while the rest did rock, it didn’t rock in a very catchy way.  At least they separated themselves slightly from the hair bands.  Even if this did only that, I suspect they would crack a tiny smile even as they bombed away.
(“Monkey Business”)

Grade: D+

Negotiations And Love Songs (1988)

I’m not a fan.  If you are, you’ll probably enjoy this very much.  What I hear is a load of pop-ready singles that make no lasting impression and (with one exception) make me look forward to the next song.  Or next album.  By someone else.
(“Kodachrome”)

Grade: C-

Sackcloth N’ Ashes (1995)

Every band’s a liar.
(“Black Soul Choir”)

Grade: D

Frogstomp (1995)

Let me start off by saying I am truly embarrassed to own this album, and I would probably toss it if it didn’t have some sentimental memory value.

Actually, that’s not completely fair. It would be embarrassing if I LIKED this album, but I don’t hate it. After all, they’re just a bunch of teenagers.

And as far as stupid things go, making a cr@ppy album is very much on the harmless no-foul side.

And, ok, I admit it…a few of the hooks actually semi-hook me.

Grade: D

Greatest Hits (1972)

There’s something about Paul Simon that just pisses me off.  I’m not sure exactly what, or why, but it brings down all these songs a notch or two.  Maybe I just hate his voice.  Then again, Art Garfunkel’s vocal contributions in general don’t do much for me either.  I’m confused, a little, but I know I’m probably never gonna play this whole album ever again.
(“Bridge Over Troubled Water”)

Grade: C

Sweet Oblivion (1992)

If a tree screams in the forest and nobody cares, does it really make a sound?
(“Nearly Lost You”)

Grade: D+

Let It Bleed (1969)

Moments of genius, moments of stupidity.

Grade: B

Sticky Fingers (1971)

I was a bit excited to discover this album in a nearby library, so that I could check it out and listen to the entire thing, knowing all the time I was mainly just using it as a means to get my kiss-a$$ review of “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” in print.  It starts off with a signature riff, one of Keith’s best.  And when I say best, I’m putting it in “Satisfaction” territory.  It doesn’t stop there, though.  Richards plays some amazing guitar while Jagger comes up with some nice lyrics and even goes Led Zeppelin for a while with his perfectly timed recitals of the song’s name in conjunction with Richard’s riff work.  Ahhh…I feel better now.  On to the rest of the album.  Not a great album, but a good one.  Other songs you might find interesting include “Brown Sugar” (although I’m rather sick of it) and “Bitch” (Which I don’t think I’ll EVER get sick of).  Yes, there’s some cr@ppy filler and a cr@ppy-as-usual blues cover.  So it’s pretty much half of a great album.  Which is all you can really hope for these days.
(“Can’t You Hear Me Knocking”, “Bitch”)

Grade: B

Hot Rocks (1964-1971) (1986)

This could easily be an A+ if it was just comprised of better selections.  As is, there’s loads of good music here, nothing truly revelatory but pretty d@mn good.  Only “Heart Of Stone” and “As Tears Go By” make me wince.
(“Gimme Shelter”, “Street Fighting Man”)

Grade: A

Flashpoint (1991)

Doesn’t sound that bad, and I usually think that live albums tend to suck.  Unfortunately, the song choices are somewhat suspect, and it IS a live one, so it’s not quite as good as it could be.  If you love the Stones, you’re gonna buy it anyways.  If you’re more of a casual fan, I’d recommend withholding purchase unless you spot it in a bargain bin in a few years.

Grade: C

Forty Licks (2002)

A very expansive greatest-hits package, this is separated into two cd’s worth of music.  The first disc is a wonderful collection of some of the Stones’ best early-to-middle period songs.  The second disc relies heavily on later material, and consequently suffers from the decline of the Stones in their later years.  If you want to buy one Stones album, ‘Hot Rocks’ is the way to go.  I’m sure there’s a later-period-only best-of out there somewhere that you could buy if you wanted a complete overview of their catalog.  I personally find a lot of their later material embarrassing by their standards.
(“Street Fighting Man”, “Honky Tonk Women”)

Grade: B+

2010: Chock-full of too much goodness to resist.

Grade: A

Auscultate (1995)

I enjoyed “Bluster” very much from the first time I heard it on the radio.  So, guess what happened?  I bought the album!  Thinking there would be more good songs! (Well, “Honour Me” isn’t bad).
(“Bluster”)

Grade: D+

Murmur (1982)

This is the world at large’s full-length introduction to Michael Stipe and company. I find it a bit boppy and very non-threatening. I don’t know what the hell Stipe is talking about, a pattern which would continue over their next few albums and, let’s be honest, their entire career. The man seems to enjoy writing lyrics that make you think. Which is a good thing, in general. But when I put on my favorite artists, I want to KNOW what they’re talking about, and be able to just sink into a bubblebath with a contented sigh, and enjoy it. Besides, I don’t think on command, thank you very much. Unless this really is just a jambly mess of chaos.

Grade: C

2010: Stipe gets even more twitty in retrospect.

Grade: C-

Eponymous (1988)

They weren’t very good at all until ‘Document’. Three of the good songs on this best-of-up-until-’88 are from ‘Document’. And thus this album is elevated from mediocre to pretty good.
(“The One I Love”)

Grade: B

Out Of Time (1991)

“Losing My Religion”. No. I will not listen to that song ever again. Michael Stipe has always been a pretentious twit, and here his music and lyrics combine to full twit-effect. What about the rest? Well, it’s not bad…better than I would have expected after the first single.
(“Texarkana”, “Belong”)

Grade: B-

2011: He does mean well in a lot of ways…and True Believers are hard to find.

Grade: B

Automatic For The People (1992)

“Everybody Hurts” has achieved the same status as Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven”, both as a prom song and a song that has been played continuously and mercilessly since its release. It’s a very good song, but how many times can we keep playing the d@mn thing and still enjoy it? With that noted, my two favorites here do NOT include that song. Btw, Andy Kaufman stinks.
(“Ignoreland”, “Drive”)

Grade: B-

8/20/12: Not to be morbid, but he certainly does by now. Oh shut up, he’d say it himself if he wasn’t dead.

Grade: B

Monster (1994)

Nice hard-ish rock guitar throughout on this album, beginning with the killer riffs on “What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?”. Most of this rocks pretty hard…there’s certainly filler but it’s more tolerable than it could be.
(“What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?”, “Star 69”)

Grade: B

8/20/12: All the meaning in the world didn’t save any of their other albums from being worse than this, and all the meaning in the world doesn’t make this any better than it is. Perhaps they should, with some exceptions, find another medium with which to bore the life out of their clientele. Thank you, Diane.

Grade: B+

New Adventures In Hi-Fi (1996)

Slow I don’t mind, pretty I don’t mind, mournful I don’t mind. But put them all together and add a dose of poor songwriting and it makes for a dismal bit of filler, broken up occasionally by a decent song. Is it worth your money? I don’t think so.
(“E-Bow The Letter”)

Grade: C

2011: Moving away from both rock and pop is very dangerous for your career. This does both. It’s intentionally obscure and minimalist in the same way as ‘Murmur’, except here you can actually understand what the heck they’re talking about. Not their best album by a long shot, but in some ways this is their triumph…Peace, Love, and Community over Money. For once, I applaud.

Grade: B-

Reveal (2001)

R.E.M. goes easy-listening/cocktail lounge act. At least on parts of it. It’s laughable, because you expect at least a stab at innovation from them each time out.
And because Stipe has to be the frontman for this occasionally annoying, horrible synth-sound album. He’s always been a bit full of himself, but he seems to be losing it. Where the hell is Peter Buck and his bag of riffs? I guess Michael decided he WANTED to actually make a semi-easy-listening, mostly hookless quiet album. I hope
he likes it, because I sure the hell don’t, and thankfully the album-buying public seems to agree with me to a certain extent. Stop with the synth moves, guys.
You have no clue what to do with them. Either get back to GOOD pop music, or (my preference) straight out rock, e.g. ‘Monster’.

Grade: D

2011: “Any sort of commerciality” and “Doing whatever the fck we want” went to war…they raised the stakes, forcing the other side to, forcing the other side to, and so on…they won.

Grade: D+

In Time: The Best Of R.E.M. 1988-2003 (2003)

It’s a good thing that 1988 was when they started to rise above persistently meaningless mediocrity. It’s a bad thing that they didn’t take all the good sh1t and put it here.
(What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?”, “Orange Crush”)

Grade: B

Rage Against The Machine (1992)

I’ve always liked good rock with meaning more than good rock without. So that’s not a problem here. And I enjoy Zach De La Rocha’s lyrics and performance. The backup from his musical mates is impressive as well. All that being said, I’d love to love this album, but the songwriting just doesn’t hold up throughout. A solid effort, though, and worthy of a follow-up.
(“Killing In The Name”, “Bullet In The Head”)

Grade: B

The Battle Of Los Angeles (1999)

The synth attempt on track eleven is silly and sad. They have one method of delivery, and frankly sound really boring/annoying/silly when they try to “branch out”.
On another note, “Born Of A Broken Man” is a completely obvious (and sad, there’s that word again) ripoff of Jesus Jones’ “Right Here, Right Now”. It actually brought back some memories that left me humming inside my head. The rest (“Guerilla Radio” excepted) is so formulaic and repetitive on this, their third album featuring the same music (hello, AC/DC) that I have no choice but to say that this year’s model is easily the worst of the triplets. I see why they broke up. Quite frankly, I’m sick of them and am glad that the band (except Zach, maybe?) made the right decision.

Grade: C-

BloodSugarSexMagik (1991)

Lots of songs here. Going through them all, I found a few keepers. But something about the Peppers just rubs me the wrong way, and even the keepers don’t do all that much for me anymore. The filler is torture.
(“Under The Bridge”)

Grade: C

What Hits!? (1992)

A collection of music one track more than ‘BloodSugarSexMagik’, it boasts one less interesting song. If only grading was always this easy.
(“Higher Ground”)

Grade: C-

2010: I’m overcome by their average-ness.

Grade: C

The Bends (1995)

I never thought they’d do it, but they did.  They actually came back with an album that wasn’t horrid after the one-shot “Creep”.  Soft, melodic, and pretty at its high points, this album may take a while to kick in, but it’s not bad if you give it half a chance.  Don’t get excited or anything, but maybe crack a LITTLE smile.

Grade: C+

OK Computer (1997)

First half is worthy of an A.  Second half has to scratch and claw to achieve mediocrity.  It’s supposedly a breakthrough, hands-down classic according to some.  It’s a good album, and it’s worth buying.  But it’s not going to change your life or change music as a whole.
(“Karma Police”)

Grade: B

Kid A (2000)

Very atmospheric.  But the atmosphere is rarely backed up by good music.

Grade: C-

2010: Kid Average.

Grade: C

Amnesiac (2001)

Them boys do enjoy indulging themselves, don’t they?

Grade: D-

Hail To The Thief (2003)

“Sail To The Moon” is a beautiful song that represents their peak in that area.  “Myxomatosis” is some good solid noise-plus-vocals music, perfect for when you just want to listen and not have to think.  A couple other songs are pretty good.  There is no big deal with this band.  It’s fair quality (art?) rock, nothing more.  A few good songs don’t make a great album, let alone a great career.
(“Myxomatosis”, “Sail To The Moon”)

Grade: B-

Rocket (1996)

Most certainly a one-shot album (and possibly career), this is mediocre noise and lyrics that rise to respectability only during “Chain Reaction” and The Hit.
(“Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand”)

Grade: D+

Lovely (1988)

One-hit wonder.  Where did they pull the one hit from?  Based on the rest, I’ve no idea.
(“Crash”)

Grade: D

Every Breath You Take: The Classics (1995)

I’ve always liked The Police (except when “Roxanne” is played on the radio and I have to comfort myself in the knowledge that it will be over in 3:12, Hallelujah!).  I’ve just never really liked them QUITE enough to buy any single album of theirs.  Behold, the answer to my prayers.  A great album without doubt, it makes me a little sad that they broke up at their peak.
(“King Of Pain”, “Every Breath You Take”, “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”)

Grade: A+

The Police (2007)

Everything you could possibly want by The Police (Therefore better than ‘The Classics’) and, unfortunately, more (Therefore worse than ‘The Classics’).  For the dedicated fan.
(“Can’t Stand Losing You”, “So Lonely”, “Synchronicity I”)

Grade: A

The Singles (1987)

Even their good songs always struck me as a bit lacking in one area or another.  Actually, to be honest, I just don’t like them for some reason.  Some of their songs I recognize as quality songs that I SHOULD like, but I don’t.  I find them dull, boring, and occasionally annoying, even when I know in my head that they aren’t.  At least, not ALL the time.  That being said, there’s a lot of (to me) boring sections here, and I’ve never liked Chrissie Hynde’s vocals.  Oh well…sometimes your best just isn’t good enough.

Grade: C