Substance (1987)
Gods have mercy on my soul…I had to listen to all 24 of these songs. I learned two things during my horrific experience – New Order basically sucks, and I HATE double albums that weren’t even good enough to be singles.
(“True Faith”)
Grade: D
Mother Love Bone (1992)
EVERY-thing Seattle to the music stores at once! Yes, they did it, Nirvana debuted on Headbanger’s Ball and delivered the killing blow to an already quite-ill collection of music dubbed “80’s hair pop/metal”! Now let’s rush out and sign EVERY Seattle band we can get our hands on! What’s that you say? MLB had Pearl Jam’s bassist AND lead guitarist??!! Release it, you fool, release it NOW, before it’s too late!
No, there’s no need to listen to it first. It’s certified gold upon release!
Grade: D-
3/5/13: Slight overreaction caused by HUGE disappointment. As you can probably tell by all the caps. I mean, I was expecting Pearl Jam, or Temple of the Dog…and no offense to the guy, I know all his friends loved him and all (and he did inspire some GREAT music) but Andrew Wood was no Eddie Vedder. Or Chris Cornell. When I’m in
the right mood, though, “Stardog Champion” can blow me away given all the layers of historical context and the energy, gone with Andrew’s death.
Grade: D
Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge (1991)
Curse you again, Nirvana! Curse you for opening the floodgates for this kind of cr@p! I mean, did they have to release this album and have it land in ANY music store to fool passersby into thinking it might be worthwhile? There’s virtually nothing here of any discernible interest.
Grade: D
2012: Really, this is the sort of tuneless, non-melodic noise that grunge started off as before Kurt Cobain decided to introduce something called a “hook” (vocal or musical).
Grade: F
Greatest Hits/Legend Of A Band (1989/1990)
Addition by subtraction. They later subtracted by adding. (See Below)
(“Ride My See-Saw”, “The Story In Your Eyes”)
Grade: A-
The Best Of The Moody Blues (1997)
I’ve never heard a single one of their albums straight through in entirety, and from what I gather I’m not any worse off for it. However, unlike those who despise the Blues and their drenched-in-syrup ballads and rockers, I happen to enjoy their vocals, occasionally beautiful harmonies and often intriguing music. In limited doses, of course. And like a pile of tomatoes (so I hear) you have to go pawing through the bad ones to get to one that’s worthwhile given all your musical choices. This takes a steep plummet around the middle to d@mn near the end. But their best is in the beginning, and it’s worth listening to when you’re in the right mood, aided or not by certain substances. I just don’t understand how “Legend Of A Mind” could possibly be left off given some of the weaker songs that made it.
(“Ride My See-Saw”, “The Story In Your Eyes”)
Grade: B
2010: Listening with a clearer head.
Grade: B+
Jagged Little Pill (1995)
Q: How much of this did she write (music-wise) and how much was Glen Ballard? Was she really a Mouseketeer (or something similar that’s not important enough to recall)?
Is there anything at all worthwhile after the juicy, biting kiss-off song?
A: I have no idea and my lack of interest in the artist makes it easy to remain ignorant.
A(part two): Yes!
A(part three): Well, sort of. A couple more hard ones, some soft ones, and some half-and-half ones. Listen to them all and you’ll probably find a coupla other songs you like. At least, for a while. Then they may seem dated or just plain stupid (e.g. “Ironic”).
(“You Oughta Know”)
Grade: C+
Play (1999)
When Moby lets loose with certain genres in full force, the results are extremely impressive. Those genres would be pure dance and pure pop. Don’t believe me? Listen to “Porcelain”, as beautiful a pop song as ever I’ve heard. Or the amazing “Bodyrock”…not so amazing because it’s (pretty) good, but because the sound doesn’t seem like it could possibly come from the same artist. When he dabbles in blues, however, the results are decidedly mixed. The first two songs on this album could turn anybody off…but “Natural Blues” is an inescapably good song. He obviously likes old-school blues, but I’ve never been a fan of the original articles, so there’s only so much anyone can do to salvage them. A very admirable and polished product, however. Even when it’s bad, it flickers at mastery. And you never know what he’s going to do next.
(“Porcelain”, “South Side”)
Grade: B+
18 (2002)
It starts out with two fairly good, typical Moby songs. A repeated phrase/refrain and some interesting backing music for it seems to be what he’s best at. I won’t knock him because I happen to enjoy what I’ve heard from him so far. The problem here is that since the musical attraction of the songs is similar to a mantra, if the backing music is no good it comes off as annoying trash rather than beautiful art. Alright, so I’ll knock him a little bit. But Godd@mnit, the sneaky bastard just KEEPS on rolling out perfect background music for his chants and occasional singing parts. Perfect in the sense that it always sounds “right”…the limit of his debatable genius, though, lies in the fact that the sameness of a lot of these songs doesn’t allow for a killer track. I know he wrote a couple of those on ‘Play’, but here it’s strictly for mood, it seems. When he does try to stray a bit, he finds failure instead of the overall success on ‘Play’. Will it make you feel eternal inner peace or put you right to sleep? Try it, and find out. Track 18: “The Streets Of MobyDelphia”
Grade: C
Twitch (1986)
This is where things begin to get interesting. Moving towards heavy industrial but still in flux, it’s a lighter sound than their soon-to-come “classic” period. It does have its share of moments, and is an interesting memento at least. Recommended for any die-hard fan: you’ll get a kick out of their former incarnation and hear them edge slightly towards their triumphant sound.
Grade: B-
The Land Of Rape And Honey (1988)
Some rather nice industrial music here. Interesting in most places, more often than not hooky, with brief periods of tedium. I hate “Stigmata” and wonder how it made the album let alone led it off. But the magic of MP3 players allows me to discreetly cut that little low point out.
(“The Land Of Rape And Honey”)
Grade: B
2010: Album title of the year…look it up.
Grade: B+
The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste (1989)
A solid step or two from ‘The Land Of Rape And Honey’. Almost totally devoid of clunkers, it does contain one song that lowers the overall quality slightly (guess the song and win a prize). I’m a bit hesitant to hand out A’s, but I can’t see how this could rate any lower.
(“Thieves”, “Dream Song”)
Grade: A
In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up (1990)
Some good material here, obviously, since they’re drawing from two good albums. But it’s an extreme disappointment based on what they COULD have made if they picked the best songs. Also, all the songs are better in their regular album format anyway, so there’s really no need to buy this unless you want to contribute to the Al Jourgensen support fund. Buy their last two albums and listen to them repeatedly. Don’t bother with this.
Grade: B-
Psalm 69 (1992)
Three years after a surprising industrial masterpiece, Jourgensen shows no signs of letting up, making this one of the few non-grunge popular “rock” acts to survive the Nirvana-induced musical upheaval of the early 90’s. The ferocity is there, angry lyrics with exceptional music to back them up. The only track here I’d replace is the much-touted guest appearance by the mostly useless Gibby Haynes. Otherwise, it’s a keeper all the way through.
(“Just One Fix”, “Scarecrow”)
Grade: A
Filth Pig (1996)
Mostly ferocious in sound (at least on the title cut and several others), the riffs (musical or samples) just aren’t there anymore for the most part. Where did they go? I don’t know. If you find out, send a letter to Al.
(“Filth Pig”)
Grade: C+
Dark Side Of The Spoon (1999)
Displaying the slow but steady decline from deserved industrial king to just another noisemaker in the clearance bin, this has too few moments to make it recommendable. It is, however, not unlistenable, with hooks emerging at occasional points, both vocal and musical. The problem is the occasions are too infrequent to warrant anything close to their most productive period, quality-wise.
(“Kaif”)
Grade: C+
Animositisomina (2003)
A great industrial act several times and several years removed now. This is purely product: throwaway, filler, forced songs, and a cry for help and direction. Only “Animosity” saves it (barely) from total obsolescence.
Grade: D-
Houses Of The Mole (2004)
I’ve followed this band through Heaven and Hell, but I think it’s really time to call it quits. One or two marginal songs per album does not warrant musical existence. Jourgensen will retire, or continue pumping out product to a continually decreasing fan base. As for new fans, this flop isn’t going to garner any.
Grade: D-
Tigerlily (1995)
This album, “Carnival” excepted, has dated very badly in a rather short period of time. If you want to, lower it one grade level for the next few years until it (possibly) seems fresh or at least not rotten again. I don’t think anyone will really notice, or care.
Grade: D+
Kill ‘Em All (1983)
The product of anger, defiance, anger, horrible songwriting, and anger again. Vastly overrated.
Grade: D
Ride The Lightning (1984)
Talk about a turnaround. After their near-embarrassing debut, they come up with a hard-rock/metal classic or at least near-classic. This album features some terrific riffs, some pretty (yes pretty!) chords, and some solid vocals. I’m hungry for more.
(“Ride The Lightning”, “Fade To Black”, “The Call Of Ktulu”)
Grade: A-
2012: If you like your rock hard, you’ll love this. It’s not really “metal” by today’s standards cuz it has, you know…melody.
Grade: A
Master Of Puppets (1986)
A huge relief after worrying about them falling backwards after ‘Ride The Lightning’. This album rocks hard and causes no pain lyrically throughout. Good job, boys. Keep it up.
(“Master Of Puppets”)
Grade: B+
2012: More intelligent, less tuneful. Their last album featuring Cliff Burton is their second and last album worth owning.
Grade: A-
…And Justice For All (1988)
Their first ever video was made for “One”. Appropriately enough, it’s easily the best composition here. In fact it’s the only one that sinks into my fancy after (trust me) REPEATED listenings.
(“One”)
Grade: D+
2012: How many good songs are on this, anyway?
Grade: C-
Countdown To Extinction (1992)
Two good songs and a lot of anger, frustration, and filler.
Grade: C
Capitol Punishment (2000)
I’ve always respected Dave Mustaine for some unknown, intangible reason. Maybe because he didn’t heed the call of pop music until well after Metallica sold their souls for mass acceptance. What’s that you say? They already HAD mass acceptance before their self titled release? Yes, but I mean MASS mass acceptance. I’m talking Aerosmith, The Beatles, The Stones, etc…bands that pop fans like but that don’t get you ostracized by the metal community all that much. Problem is, he’s never written as well/consistently as James Hetfield and company. So, AGAIN, a disappointing best-of, even though it happens to be a very good album.
(“Sweating Bullets”, “Peace Sells”)
Grade: B+
Contraband (1996)
These guys seemed so nice and polite that it’s a shame they weren’t better than this shows.
I don’t have the faintest idea what else to write about them.
(“Down Under”, “It’s A Mistake”)
Grade: C+
9/2/12: A poor man’s Police. Is that so bad?
Grade: B-
The Visit (1992)
Lured in by “The Mummer’s Dance”, I was AGAIN disappointed in a critically respected release. When will I learn?
Grade: D+
The Book Of Secrets (1997)
Now this is one kind of music I HOPE to enjoy. I’d prefer not to be hooked by jazz or hardcore rap, thanks. But a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice can up your grade in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, she (or they) don’t write as well as they play. At least, not consistently.
(“The Mummer’s Dance”)
Grade: B-
2010: Did I mention she has a beautiful voice?
Grade: B
Marcy Playground (1997)
Not as bad as you might expect after recovering from the annoyingly catchy first single. And when I say not AS bad, I mean still fairly bad.
(“Saint Joe On The Schoolbus”)
Grade: C-
Above (1995)
Supergroup, huh? Well it sure beats the hell out of Audioslave (sorry, Chris). Also, it gives Layne Staley something productive to do after Alice In Chains. Too bad he eventually chose drugs over music. I don’t grieve rock star deaths any more than I grieve the death of any other stranger to me, but I do grieve the loss of talent and music in his case.
(“Long Gone Day”)
Grade: B-
Rubbing Doesn’t Help (1996)
One song has nostalgic and mildly pop charm. That’s about it, although the rest is tolerable.
Grade: D
Hybrid Theory (2000)
Like many perfectly reasonable and intelligent people, I happen to get a fair amount of enjoyment out of this album. I don’t care how you characterize their sound or their influences, what we have here is some catchy hard rock/pop. And when I say some, it’s with a bit of disappointment. I was looking forward to more after the first five tracks, but the quality definitely dips a bit. Some good songs here, though, and definitely worth a listen.
(“One Step Closer”)
Grade: B-
Throwing Copper (1994)
The problem here is too many flippin’ songs that are marginal filler, as is often the case. Listen, all you album-stuffers out there- write GOOD songs and ONLY good songs, and release an album when you have enough of them. I don’t care about your bottom line once you’ve sold a million copies. Cut out the cr@p, stop milking a used up album for more singles, and get your mediocre noise out of my ears. The few worthwhile ones here shouldn’t be surrounded by mediocrity.
(“Lightning Crashes”)
Grade: C+
Led Zeppelin (1969)
Their initial release leans heavily on blues influences and shows very little of the mixture of melodicism and hard rock that would develop soon. The lyrics can be horrible (this applies to most Zeppelin albums, actually) at times, but the music does the talking when it has to. “Dazed And Confused” is the perfect example of this.
Just based on this, there’s no way I’d think this group would go onto anything more than blues remakes and bluesy, stoopid semi-originals. I’m glad I was wrong.
(“Dazed And Confused”)
Grade: B-
2010: Really GOOD blues remakes and bluesy, stoopid semi-originals.
Grade: B+
2012: Yeah, it’s really good. But it’s not great. Not with lyrics that make Black Francis look good.
Grade: B+
9/25/24:
“Good Times Bad Times” is pretty good.
“Babe I’m Gonna Leave You” sucks despite Jimmy Page’s best efforts…I mean, make up your fcken MIND Robert.
“You Shook Me” plods, but is…ok.
“Dazed And Confused” ROCKS if you can ignore Plant’s blatant/stupid sexism.
“Your Time Is Gonna Come” has too much synth but is…ok.
“Black Mountain Side” – Page shows he can play acoustic pretty darn well.
“Communication Breakdown” – Page shows he can play electric pretty darn well. Plant wails about something, but who cares?
“I Can’t Quit You Baby” takes up some necessary space to make a full-length album.
“How Many More Times” is cool and has some nice tempo changes and compelling musicianship.
Inspirational Quote: “SUCK!”
Grade: B (And this time, I MEAN it!)
Led Zeppelin II (1969)
More blooze, stupid lyrics, and blatant sexual references from the boys. All three of these things can be overlooked when the band is rocking the way it can.
Here, that’s limited to just a few songs. Their second worst studio album, after the posthumous ‘Coda’.
(“Whole Lotta Love”)
Grade: C+
2010: Testosterone poisoning…I mean, how STUPID can you get?
Grade: C-
2012: Ehhhh…testosterone doesn’t poison the riffs, and there are riffs. Some.
Grade: C
9/25/24: No change, see above.
Led Zeppelin III (1970)
A switch from overkill hard rock/blues, this album contains mostly ballads. It shows promise in points – the Page and Plant synchronization of guitar and vocal on “That’s The Way”, the “Stairway To Heaven” prequel “Tangerine”, etc…
I don’t think anyone had any idea what was to follow after this.
(“That’s The Way”, “Immigrant Song”)
Grade: B
2010: Upped a notch for radical transformation, and meaning well.
Grade: B+
2012: It’s actually very good because it’s very good. They drop the overkill of I and II and add melody and harmony in believable (and more importantly, listenable) ways.
Grade: B+
9/25/24: No change, see above.
Led Zeppelin IV (1971)
Their generally acknowledged masterpiece, and who am I to argue with songs like “Stairway To Heaven”, “When The Levee Breaks”, and others. Plant manages to write some interesting lyrics for once on this album. Some of them I don’t fully understand, but at least they’re not obviously and embarrassingly stupid. The whole band
contributes to make this a seriously great album/undeniable classic.
(“Stairway To Heaven”, “Black Dog”, “Misty Mountain Hop”)
Grade: A
2010: Transcendent.
Grade: A+
2012: They get by with a little help from their Spirit.
Grade: A+
9/25/24: No change, see above.
Houses Of The Holy (1973)
A great follow-up to IV, this album shows no signs of Zep letting up in their current formula (that is, light and shade mixed together for a wonderful end result).
I’ve become a little bit sick of some of these songs after playing them repeatedly, and I wonder (as I always do) if the music is dated and not as good as originally thought, OR if I just got sick of it for a time. With this album I think it’s mostly the second option.
(“Over The Hills And Far Away”, “No Quarter”)
Grade: A-
2012: Only “The Crunge” makes me cringe.
Grade: A
9/25/24: No change, see above.
Physical Graffiti (1975)
A double album that, for a change, doesn’t make me wish they’d chopped it down into a single one. There’s a little bit of filler here, sure. And the best songs aren’t exactly what you would call “classic” (“Kashmir” excluded). But there’s a whole lot of good-to-very-good stuff here. Disc one I could truly call great. Disc two gives a slight feeling of Deja Vu (“Sick Again”, try to find its near-twin) and isn’t so great. But it’s interesting and at least fairly good. An album worth listening to all the way through.
(“Kashmir”, “The Wanton Song”, “Trampled Under Foot”)
Grade: A-
2010: Pride before the fall.
Grade: A
9/25/24: Borderline, but closer to A than A-.
Grade: A
Presence (1976)
The worst Zeppelin album (yes, including ‘Coda’) of them all if all you’re looking for is the killer track. If good, solid music is what you’re after (or at least, willing to accept) then it’s not a bad selection. I listen to it…occasionally.
(“For Your Life”)
Grade: B
2012: It’s only got two good songs on it. And they’re not all THAT good. “Achilles Last Stand” is an interesting but failed attempt at “Stairway, part 3” or “Kashmir, part 2”. And the fact that every song is at least ok shouldn’t be regarded as a monumental achievement.
Grade: B-
9/25/24: I think it’s good, and I wonder how I could ever have given it below a B until I get to “Tea For One”, which sucks. Fortunately, that’s the last song, so just stop listening when it starts playing: problem solved!
Grade: B
In Through The Out Door (1979)
“In The Evening” was quite enough to sell me on this album for a long time. Jimmy Page’s repeated hooky riff and Robert Plant’s perfectly synchronized vocal response are upstaged only by the mid-song solo, one of Page’s best ever. One of ANYONE’S best ever. Unfortunately, after that song the album is a bit of a let-down. They always did like light and shade, but here the shadiness fades quickly, and what is left behind is a great hard rock band either running out of hard music or switching to synth-pop. Neither of those options do all that much for their legacy. “All My Love” is a fine song, but it just somehow doesn’t seem quite right for Led Zep. Calling it quits here seems (now) to have been a good idea, John Bonham or no John Bonham.
(“In The Evening”)
Grade: B-
2010: “In The Evening” is really really really good.
Grade: B
10/3/16: Ok, take away one really.
Grade B-
9/25/24: No change, see above.
Coda (1982)
When I first started listening to this album, I wasn’t surprised that the tracks weren’t particularly good. After all, they’re admittedly scraping the bottom of the barrel with songs that weren’t good enough for previous release. I fail to see how John Bonham’s death makes them worthy of release now, excepting the possible tribute to him, “Bonzo’s Montreux”, which fails to produce much excitement. The only track that kept me wavering on trashing this album was “Wearing and Tearing”: A nice, fast, riff-heavy, meaningless song. Then I realized I wasn’t giving a couple of other songs their due, mainly “I Can’t Quit You Baby”. It’s still the worst studio album
they’ve ever released, but as is always the case with Led Zep, even their failures have bright spots.
(“Wearing And Tearing”)
Grade: C
2012: Still their worst.
Grade: C-
9/25/24: If it wasn’t Led Zep I would have graded it lower to begin with. But I mean…mediocre is mediocre. Take away “Wearing And Tearing” and this isn’t even that.
Grade: D+
Led Zeppelin: Boxed Set (1990)
Why this? Because I bought the four-CASSETTE box in the HOPE of liking it. Really, I was pretty darn ignorant musically.
Thankfully, this introduced me to the consistent very-good-ness of Led Zep, a brain-rewiring event of GREAT pleasure for a then-impressionable teen. Classic rock, and then very quickly grunge…I was wired to like them both, and in terms of quality I think I got very, very lucky in being chosen-for what I adored musically.
No longer relevant because “format” is no longer relevant since it’s so variable and available, if you listened to this all the way from beginning to end you would probably have a really good time, with a few surprises and an easy pass over the few duds knowing “well, next one’s gotta be good then…”.
Grade: A
Three Dollar Bill, Y’All (1997)
I expected to dislike this, hearing it as I did after ‘Significant Other’. To the hardcore fans this is LB’s shining moment, before the great sellout of 1999. But you know what? It doesn’t sound all that different. It’s just not as good. The problem isn’t street credibility or putting the music before the money. The problem is that when they tried to write hits this time, they bombed. So they tried again and somehow pulled hit singles out of their a$$es. So you could say this is a demonstration of how they sound without any truly powerful song to lean on.
Grade: C+
Significant Other (1999)
I knew about “Nookie” and “Break Stuff”, of course, the same as anyone else listening to rock radio at this time. But I never bought the album, so I never listened to the rest. Turns out they had a coupla other hits that I forgot about. Worthy hits, at that. And even a few album tracks that demanded my attention even if they weren’t single material. They crammed a lot of good stuff on here…which may or may not bode well for their next album. But I’ll take this, right here right now, for what it is. Message? Get it while it’s hot.
(“Break Stuff”, “N 2 Gether Now”)
Grade: B+
2010: In retrospect, everything after this really sucked, huh?
Grade: A-
Follow The Leader (1998)
While I had never considered the possibility before, having never seen the disturbing cover art of their albums and the possible insinuated (or obvious, you pick) illegality (or at least immorality) of their name, I think my policy of assuming the best is put to work here. I’m not just speaking from a personal revelation…I’m speaking based on reactions and opinions given by people whose judgement I admire and find wise. I’ll ignore the fact that Jonathan Davis and company seem quite interested in children (Davis was abused as a child, yes, I know) and pretend their name doesn’t threaten to signify/promote Kiddie porn. Rating them just on musical value, I can with relief say that they’re not very good at all, and will hopefully be burning out sometime soon.
Grade: D+
In The Court Of The Crimson King (1969)
I think the title tune’s really weird and kinda creepy, but it’s also got real song structure, decent rhymes, and some interesting music. A few vocal and musical hooks, actually.
The rest is sh1t.
Upped a notch for better color choice.
Grade: D+
Red (1974)
The instrumental lead-off, “Red”, gave me some hope that perhaps this purchase, guided by glowing album reviews, was FINALLY going to be the one that paid off for me.
The rest, however, is alternately boring and annoying. Never again. And this time, I MEAN it.
Grade: D
Retro (1998)
Even the best songs here are so poor lyrically that they’re very difficult to listen to, especially with another human being around who wouldn’t hesitate to inquire “What the Hell is this sh1t???”. If you want good industrial, go pick up some Ministry.
Grade: D
Greatest Hits Volume 1 & Volume 2 (1985)
I harbor a perhaps-unfair distaste and bordering-on-technicolor-yawning instinctive reaction for/to most of Joel’s catalog. Let me clarify…the albums themselves don’t bother me so much, from what I’ve heard of his catalog (Yes, I have heard all the songs here. I would never blindly slam an artist based on incomplete data, no matter how much I KNEW they deserved it). What bothers me mostly are his earliest hits and semi-hits: the bathetic, pathetic, sickeningly maudlin and/or pompous things that he calls “songs”. I never liked Harry Chapin, and I don’t like Mini-Harry that much either. Admittedly, Joel isn’t nearly as bad as Chapin. Why? Because he graduated from pathetic and annoying to hooky and annoying. Nevertheless, even the Joel songs I LIKE still stir up a bit of bile in my system. While I do not deny the man’s “talent” at what he does, I simply don’t like it. I know many intelligent people that do (to various degrees). If you liked “Piano Man” or (Blech!) “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant”, you’ll love this hunk of pure pop melodrama. If you only liked “Captain Jack” because it has a killer voice/music hook, join the club.
(“Captain Jack”, “Big Shot”)
Grade: C
2010: What the Hell was I thinking?
Grade: A
Devil Without A Cause (1998)
There’s something unshakably annoying about the Bull God. Even when enclosed in a good song, I wish I could change the vocalist. Maybe this is just an overreaction to repeated playings of “Cowboy” on the radio. But it makes me hypersensitive to his failures. In conclusion, this album is mildly entertaining if you can take the Kid as the joke he is.
(“Bawitdaba”)
Grade: B-
Jupiter(Swallow The Moon) (1999)
I bought this for “Emily”, which I found softly mournful and emotional at the time, and still do. The rest is inconsequential.
(“Emily”)
Grade: C+
The Worst Of Jefferson Airplane (1997)
There’s nothing worthwhile here except for Grace Slick’s two (VERY) early triumphs. The rest is garbage or throwaway that makes me seriously wonder how they held onto an audience since the 60’s. This is a sad overview of another band that simply refuses to lay down and die.
(“White Rabbit”)
Grade: D
Original Masters (1985)
Another best-of that isn’t. It could have been better, but the first-half selections put it over the top and silence me for a while. The rest is listenable.
(“Aqualung”, “Bungle In The Jungle”)
Grade: B
The Best Of Jethro Tull (1993)
Not ALL the best, but there are plenty of interesting songs here. I happen to like their sound, so even the not-so-great songs don’t annoy me as much as they otherwise might.
(“Teacher”, “Aqualung”)
Grade: B
Kick (1987)
Their major breakthrough to (temporary)(super?) stardom has just enough on it to linger on the album charts for a fair amount of time. If only I could switch track eight and track one, I’d be content with it for a five-song fix.
(“Never Tear Us Apart”, “New Sensation”)
Grade: B-
The Greatest Hits (1994)
Well, it gets all the hits, as least as far as I know (or care). They don’t sound bad today, either. But since their quality output was always outnumbered by their quantity output, this is a bit spotty. This band doesn’t really have much worthwhile filler on their albums that I know of. If you want to own something by them, buy this and take my word for it: you’re not missing much.
(“What You Need”, “Never Tear Us Apart”)
Grade: B+
Nothing’s Shocking (1988)
Some critics deplore this band as over-hyped and vastly overrated. Others think they’re an amazing, influential, “important” band. Me, I don’t see what the big deal is. Perry Farrell likes to do many things and puts his unearned fame to good use. So bravo for using influence for good, and not eeeee-vil. Now start making music to match your myth.
(“Mountain Song”)
Grade: C
Dreamboat Annie (1976)
The debut by the Wilson sisters (Ann and Nancy) and their fellow bandmates/boyfriends is not underrated, nor is it overrated. Robert Christgau, whose opinions I respect a great deal, said basically that it was a moderately interesting piece of work, but nothing special. I haven’t found a single non-diehard-fan that calls it anything near a classic. I’m going with Rob on this one…after “Crazy On You” and the full version of “Magic Man”, there isn’t much left.
(“Crazy On You”)
Grade: C
2010: Atmospheric mysticism…my heart was broken when I read a review referring to “Tugboat Annie”.
Grade: B-
8/8/12: “Alright…we’ll call it a draw.”
Grade: C+
Little Queen (1977)
From the fanciful if slightly laughable costumes the men were forced to wear on the cover, to the striking/alluring poses made by Ann Wilson on said cover, you can tell the sisters put a lot of work into trying to create something mystical and beautiful. Unfortunately it drags considerably after a great opening salvo that shows you both soft and hard. Some of the rest is derivative, some of it is pitiful, but “Little Queen” salvages the second side from complete irrelevance. Barely.
(“Barracuda”, “Love Alive”)
Grade: B-
2010: Giving Ren Faires a good name.
Grade: B
8/8/12: “Dream of the Archer” and “Barracuda” rip “The Battle of Evermore” and “Immigrant Song”, respectively. But who cares? Every Zep song was a rip. The thing is, Zep made their rips BETTER than the originals, and while “Barracuda” > “Immigrant…”, “Dream…” is redundant. “Love Alive” and “Little Queen” are the other two songs of any discernible interest whatsoever.
Grade: B-
Dog & Butterfly (1978)
The mammoth hooks AND gracious melodies on “Mistral Wind” blew me away for years, and are deserving of praise. The rest is mostly filler, served hard AND soft, just the way it always is.
(“Mistral Wind”)
Grade: C+
Magazine (1978)
Before I savage this release, let me explain that this is not a regular Heart album release. It is in fact Heart’s old label releasing some substandard Heart material to cash in on their success. So it’s not Heart’s fault if most of it sucks, and it does. A couple of interesting songs start and finish the album, and in the middle it’s pure tedium.
Grade: D
Bebe Le Strange (1980)
Here’s where they start to turn from an incredibly inconsistent but occasionally very interesting group into a sad and slightly Spinal Tap-ish joke. Sure, it’s mostly hard and the music isn’t half bad, but even on the best songs you wish someone would put a muzzle on both Ann and Nancy to prevent the rather embarrassing lyrics from ever being sung. This shows once again how many potentially good songs are ruined once they’re actually given WORDS.
(“Rockin Heaven Down”)
Grade: C
2010: Riffs Never Sleep.
Grade: C+
Greatest Hits (1980)
It’s sad when a great song is left off a supposed best-of. It’s even more painful when you hear the doo-doo that took its rightful place. Mostly they got it right, though…the “hits” portion is quality. The live portion, on the other hand, is tedious and frustrating, showcasing some poor-to-wretched covers, which is punishment enough. Then they somehow take most of the life out of their best song ever. The sad fact is, this probably only charted well because of a cover of “Tell It Like It Is”. Bleh. Yes, I joined the Heart fan club when I was an impressionable (and horny) teen. But I’m much better now.
(“Crazy On You”)
Grade: B+
Private Audition (1982)
Horrible. Without their former lead guitarist, Roger Fisher, the sisters have no one who can write quality music, even at an inconsistent rate. Thus we are left to ponder Annie’s vocals and discover the hidden treasures lying therein. Right.
Grade: F
Passionworks (1983)
Following the absolute commercial and artistic disaster called ‘Private Audition’, they ditch the artistic integrity idea and start screaming for outside songwriters to bail them out. Unfortunately, they don’t arrive until after this one flops, big time. The finished product CAN – I repeat CAN – be played without a wince or a hearty belly-laugh. If you want something so bad it will make you question the existence of a higher power, try ‘Private Audition’. If you want something good, buy ‘Greatest Hits’.
Grade: D+
Heart (1985)
I don’t see why I’m even bothering to review this as a Heart album. The four hits (and four best songs, what a surprise) were all either written or co-written with a song doctor. So sure it charted high, stayed there, and sold millions of copies…it’s designed to do exactly that. They even let it be self-titled so young impressionable fans wouldn’t accidentally discover their back catalog and instead would buy the new Heart version 2.0 (a bit Spinal Tap-ish, no?). The Heart originals get an F, and the Heart fakes get an A. The A is stronger, I think, and it balances out well for their commercial future, if not their artistic one.
(“Never”, “These Dreams”)
Grade: B+
8/8/12: Blech…only two songs (see above) have aged tolerably. The rest is bad female Nelson.
Grade: C-
Bad Animals (1987)
One album after being saved by outside songwriting, they start to tank it again, even WITH outside help. This is becoming very sad. And very annoying. The ratio isn’t as good here, and once again all the Wilson-penned songs are pretty much garbage.
(“Alone”, “Who Will You Run To”)
Grade: B-
8/8/12: Two songs – a “rocker” and a “ballad” – that aren’t as good as last time.
Grade: D+
Brigade (1990)
Scratching and clawing to survive, this band is plummeting in a free-fall…again. And that is even WITH a heavy prescription of song doctors. Dated, sad, not as embarrassing as ‘Private Audition’, but much too close. This is a band that doesn’t know when to quit. Think Monty Python and the Black Knight. Can the sisters Wilson pull themselves out of the grave again? I certainly hope not. To end, a piece of advice for Ann: if you’re going to sing blatantly about sex and use it to sell your albums, you shouldn’t be afraid to actually appear in full view for your audience to see during the music videos.
Grade: D
8/8/12: Well…”Stranded” is almost as good as “Alone”.
Grade: D-
5/1/24: No it isn’t. But who cares?
Grade: D-
The Essential Heart (2002)
Disc 1 mostly gets it right from when they wrote their own songs. Disc 2 mostly gets it right from when they didn’t. Which is better? Depends on your taste.
Get both, enjoy one (Or both, if you’re a really big fan).
Grade: A-
8/8/12: See Rush: Chronicles review, replace “one” with “two”.
Grade: B
Turbulence (1991)
Howe was the lead guitarist for Yes for their two best albums, ‘The Yes Album’ and ‘Fragile’. Why were those Yes’s two best albums? Because of Steve Howe. For a two year span he was a guitar God, and when I look only at that period of his career I am quite a fan. But he seemed to lose his spark after that, for whatever reason. This album is a collection of instrumentals. He seems to ramble on too long, and his riffs and playing are generic in the extreme compared to good Yes and talented instrumentalists. There are a few moments where you can nod your head gently in rhythm to an interesting passage or two, but overall this is for rabid Howe fans only.
Grade: D
Appetite For Destruction (1987)
Bridging the gap almost single-handedly between mid 80’s synth/pop and late 80’s hair bands, this album is quite an achievement. Not that it’s all so great…it has weak tracks. But this was recorded at a time when UK pop bands were dying here and hair-band “metal” was being concocted in some evil underground lair to punish human beings for allowing Duran Duran to stick around for as long as they did. They couldn’t very well separate Guns N Roses from the hair bands (after all, they did use quite a bit of makeup at first), but they could yell and scream about how GNR was the best. All the pop “metal” bands paid homage, and rightly so. This blows their sh1t right out of the water, Def Leppard excluded. So here we have it, an important and influential album that proved to be their one stab at greatness. It’s aged well…no wincing necessary. I still enjoy it. It’s worth a try, at least, don’t you think?
(“My Michelle”, “Rocket Queen”, “Welcome To The Jungle”)
Grade: A-
2010: Upped a notch for hating Winger.
Grade: A
Dry As A Bone/Rehab Doll (1990)
Well now. Here’s some proof that not all grunge came with vocal hooks, musical hooks, good vocals, etc. Bought in excitement to hear how Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament helped create the sound that brought us Pearl Jam, among others, I’ve played the thing several times. I’m always looking for the even minor good riffs I know HAVE to be in here somewhere amidst the muck. Unfortunately, it’s just muck.
Grade: D-
2012: This is a failure. Nothing else to say, really, as there’s nothing of interest. Grade: F
The Best Of Great White 1986-1992 (1993)
Before looking at the song list I was sure this would be at least another mildly entertaining best-of from a rather minor group. Two out of ten is not entertaining enough though, especially when you claim to cover seven years of music. Some hair bands produced interesting material before bowing to Nirvana/grunge and exiting stage right. This album shows why Nirvana was so badly needed.
(“House of Broken Love”)
Grade: C
Dookie (1994)
The music here is solid, carrying them over the hump on several songs that combine interesting/fun lyrics and rocking music. Elsewhere the attitude is still there but the material stretches a bit thin.
(“Longview”, “When I Come Around”)
Grade: B
Insomniac (1995)
A bit of a letdown after ‘Dookie’, this album boasts my favorite Green Day song in terms of both music and lyrics in “Walking Contradiction”. Downright tedious in some places, at least the bad songs aren’t any longer than the keepers. I just wish the keepers were more worth keeping.
(“Walking Contradiction”)
Grade: B-
2010: More consistent than I thought.
Grade: B
4/13/16: Hey, that was pretty good. And you can rid your worries with it.
Nimrod (1997)
Continuing the falloff after ‘Dookie’, it makes one almost think that ‘Dookie’ was a fluke- that these guys really ARE just a mediocre punk/pop ripoff. None of the songs here could stand next to their best so far. “Good Riddance (time of your life)” may be a reaching out to the pure pop world, and it worked, but where do they go from here? Their forte is power pop/punk, and here’s hoping they return to it in style before it’s too late and “Good Riddance” becomes more than a bit ironic.
Grade: C
International Superhits! (2001)
I didn’t have much of an urge to get their last studio album, ‘Warning’, after the decline from ‘Dookie’ to ‘Nimrod’. But I was presented with a chance to listen to this, their (and I quote) “International Superhits!”, and I couldn’t say no. I was mildly surprised that until the very end, there wasn’t a SINGLE bad or even mediocre song on the darn thing. 1-17 out of 21 were all listenable and, at least to an extent, enjoyable…some more than others of course, but who am I to quibble with 17 decent songs on one album?? Number 19 isn’t bad, either. Yikes…I don’t know how they did it, but this looks like a great album. Talk about making the most out of your talent and your past successes. ‘Dookie’, their best album IMHO, is a B. This, culled from ‘Dookie’ and each of their other albums (and a soundtrack), is A- range. Finally, a Greatest Hits album that really IS all the hits, and all the music by the group that you’ll probably ever need.
(“Longview”, “Brain Stew/Jaded”, “Walking Contradiction”)
Grade: A
Godsmack (1998)
I love this band’s sound, which recalls early 90’s grunge, Alice In Chains in particular (AIC even has a song named “God Smack”). That’s musically, not vocally.
The lead singer here may be trying, but he can’t quite yowl, scream, or even sing soft and pretty like Layne Staley. That being said, he’s not horrible, and the music makes up for any complaints when it’s on. Too much filler, but that’s hardly a complaint unique to them. Respectable.
(“Voodoo”)
Grade: B-
2010: I just watched the video for “Voodoo”. I couldn’t stop laughing.
Grade: C+
IV (2006)
Lots of good riffs here, without a doubt. But they don’t seem to fit together and form anything of much quality. The vocals are decent, the music is decent…but it just doesn’t add up to much of anything. It’s as if they came up with the riffs first and then wrote the songs around them, lyrics and songform taking a back seat.
The difference between good riffs and good hooks: riffs require other music around them to be of any use, hooks can carry a song and/or album just by themselves. Many riffs here. No hooks worthy of mention.
Grade: D
A Boy Named Goo (1995)
For some reason this album makes me not in the least bit curious about their previous, harder-rocking selves. And in time I discovered I wasn’t particularly curious about where they went from here (the answer- poppier). I had picked them at their peak of my enjoyment, was my assumption. And until someone proves me wrong, I’m sticking with it. Of course as soon as I write this, I happen upon their next album, and am proven wrong yet again.
(“Naked”, “Only One”)
Grade: B-
Dizzy Up The Girl (1998)
Fairly consistent and surprisingly good (to me, at least…I thought ‘A Boy Named Goo’ would be their one and only fifteen minutes). Surprising not because of the level of good-ness (a nice, decent “fairly good”) but because I thought ‘A Boy N…wait…I said that already. It’s not my fault, really. I could write “competent, occasionally compelling” as my review and it would serve the purpose well enough (that is, telling the truth). Nothing too fancy here, I’m afraid. But if like me your expectations are low, you’ll be in for a mildly pleasant surprise.
Grade: B-
4/13/16: Sometimes I tended to stretch out the reviews. But it was quite genuine, you know. I mean I was trying to be clever, I guess, but I took it pretty d@mn seriously. I tried. Ah, reminiscing…
Super-Fire (1996)
Consisting of one song about to be released on a full-length album and three (what I assume are) throwaways and/or B-sides, this generates some interest in the forthcoming album, at least for me. A single with 3 B-sides, or an EP? Hopefully the first, as the single blows away the rest of it.
(“Super-Fire”)
Grade: C+
Outside Looking In (1999)
A one-hit wonder in my eyes, it doesn’t matter how much low-grade material they lump around it, it’s still just one song. The rest is marginal, which would be bad enough on a regular-release album. It’s downright depressing and sad for a greatest hits package. Yes, I’m ignoring “Hey Jealousy”, because it’s become annoying and horribly dated.
(“Found Out About You”)
Grade: C
2010: “Hey Jealousy” is fun to listen to again, after many years.
Grade: C+
Security (1982)
I want to like Peter Gabriel more than I do. I’m basically constantly frustrated by his musical output, because some part of me keeps insisting that can he do much better. Perhaps it’s a case of refusing to be “commercial” at the expense of one’s integrity, but I get depressed a lot, and the last thing I worry about when I’m analyzing all the things that affect me is whether or not Peter Gabriel is vastly overrated or I’m just ignorant to his music’s power. In any case, with a couple of exceptions, his songs here are annoying and/or pretentious.
(“Shock The Monkey”)
Grade: D+
Shaking The Tree: Sixteen Golden Greats (1990)
Peter Gabriel has always fascinated me. Seemingly extremely intelligent and independent, his music is often a bit too uncommon for the common folk. At least, it used to be. The problem I have is that even when he goes simple and commercial, the quality rarely ever approaches his reputation among many. Although I do give him kudos for teaching me some French.
(“Solsbury Hill”, “Games Without Frontiers”)
Grade: B+
Us (1992)
It’s not good enough commercially; that is to say, catchy enough. And since Peter has by this point long since abandoned weird, that makes it pretty dull.
(“Digging In The Dirt”)
Grade: C
The Definitive Two CD Collection (Hit) (2003)
It’s not definitive, not by any means. You can’t really define this guy without listening to every d@mn song he ever wrote, but that’s too painful for me. (And I LIKE him). But it IS very good.
Grade: A-
Garbage (1995)
This is a Butch Vig creation and vehicle, despite your extreme desire to spend some quality time with lead singer Shirley Manson. She was picked up for sex appeal, not talent (Yes, I enjoy pointing out the obvious). Near (or at, or after…it’s been a long night, ok?) the end of grunge as a major musical force, this album sprouts some pop hooks and flies away from the wreckage Vig himself helped create. I vaguely hate it, even as I bop along to it.
(“Stupid Girl”)
Grade: B-
2012: “Hate” is a strong word. The catchiness here is much less guilty than, say, ABBA.
Grade: B-
Version 2.0 (1998)
A slight alteration on their debut, adding electronica to the boppy pop-grunge. But the overall results are about the same.
(“When I Grow Up”)
Grade: B-
Absolute Garbage (2007)
What do you get when you make a greatest-hits album from a band that had only two decent albums? A really good first half. The pop leanings become more pronounced as one goes along, almost to the point of absurdity when you consider this was, at one time, considered an “alternative” band. But it’s a really good first half!
(“When I Grow Up”, “Push It”)
Grade: B
5/27/12: A really good first half is more impressive when there are 18 songs on the album, since half of 18 is 9, and nine is about what a good album normally runs, give or take.
Grade: B+
Then Play On (1970)
I just don’t appreciate the music here, so whether it’s a blues masterpiece or a piece of hackwork, I really couldn’t say. Whatever it is, only one track really stands out, and I was most certainly taken by surprise at its beauty.
(“Oh Well”)
Grade: D+
Bare Trees (1972)
As murky as the cover.
Grade: D-
Mystery To Me (1973)
If this band wants to be commercial and actually sell a few dozen of their albums, which seems to be the goal now that they’re morphing into a pop band, they need to learn how to write pop SONGS. And they need a much better success rate than Bob Welch gives them.
(“Hypnotized”)
Grade: C-
2012: “Forever” is the only song that doesn’t completely bore, aside from the out-of-nowhere “Hypnotized”
Grade: D+
Fleetwood Mac (1975)
A nice change from the Bob Welch years, this album is intermittently good and boring. The difference is the ratio of good to boring, a fairly decent one here.
“Rhiannon” is an undeniable classic and I still get a kick out of some of the other songs, none of which approach “Rhiannon” but which give the consumer reason to buy this instead of waiting for the inevitable compilation. The ship is certainly set in the right direction after several years of upheaval.
(“Rhiannon”, “World Turning”)
Grade: B
Rumours (1977)
Some of these songs haven’t aged as well as one might like in a pop classic. But some of them have held up just fine, thank you very much, and even the weaker tracks have a certain charm about them. A couple of songs you probably won’t find on any greatest-hits package appear here and are minor pleasant surprises. “Gold Dust Woman” is beautiful and powerful, Stevie Nicks’ shining moment in my eyes, and a complete triumph that finishes off a very good album.
(“Gold Dust Woman”, “Never Going Back Again”, “The Chain”)
Grade: A-
2010: Never attained, before or after.
Grade: A
Tango In The Night (1987)
I really should buy more Fleetwood Mac. Their older (but still pop) albums had some great songs and some interesting minor ones. This album is split in half between commercial ambition and personal conceit, most notably Lindsey Buckingham’s attempt to prove he can still rock and Stevie Nicks’ attempt to prove she can still write songs. “Perhaps she’s saving them for her solo career?”, you may ask. “What solo career?”, might come the response. At least Buckingham threw some heart and soul into it.
(“Little Lies”, “Everywhere”)
Grade: B
2012: No, I shouldn’t. ‘Rumours’ is the only necessary album, even compared to ‘Greatest Hits’. If you like it, try ‘Fleetwood Mac’, and then ‘Tango In The Night’. As for ‘Mirage’, act accordingly to what you’ve been taught: Ignore it and it may remain a somewhat-tantalizing thing, run for its beauty and you’ll find out you’ve been swindled.
Grade: B
Example (1995)
Like most rock n’ roll deaths, the ones affecting this band make me wonder what could have been, musically. I don’t call the event a “tragedy”, because the death of any decent human being is just as tragic and worthy of mourning. As to the musical quality here, it does seem as if we may have been robbed of something good. The two hits show two starkly different sides, always a good sign unless you’re AC/DC or The Cure or Depeche…oops, sorry, I appear to have rambled a bit. Am I a bit more touched by them given the circumstances? Yes, probably. But it’s still a shame, for life and for music.
(“8:02 PM”, “Mighty KC”)
Grade: B
Fallen (2003)
Being wise enough to wonder how good they REALLY are, I checked the writing credits, which revealed that they did in fact do-it-themselves. Unfortunately, they also revealed a bit of possible disunity (or maybe it’s just honesty), meticulously crediting each and every person who wrote on each song, and thereby revealing who didn’t.
Of course, I say this in retrospect, after the departure of one of said writers. Being male enough not to idolize Amy Lee for her voice or appearance in true teenybopper fashion, I have little difficulty handing out a fair, proper grade.
(“Bring Me To Life”)
Grade: B
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (1973)
Everything that moves me, from disgust to pleasure, apathy to exhilaration, is grouped here in tracks 1-6. “Candle In The Wind” makes me gag at its bathetic sentimentality, and “Bennie And The Jets” makes me want to gouge my eyes out and put plugs in my ears. Check out the choice cut. It’s very choice.
(“Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding”)
Grade: C
2010: More than meets the ears.
Grade: B-
The Slim Shady LP (1999)
Vastly overrated by critics, this is basically what my first impression told me it would be when I heard “My Name Is” on the radio. That is, a one-shot deal with a lot of occasionally annoying filler. “My Name Is” is funny, clever, and (most importantly) catchy. The other funny and/or clever songs buried amidst the boring and/or annoying filler are not up to par. I’ve heard he got better after this, but I haven’t felt much urgency to check out his whole catalog.
(“My Name Is”)
Grade: C-
The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
“Stan” borrows a beautiful vocal hook from Dido, one of his betters. Then again, almost any legitimate rock act is this guy’s better. Talking the talk, walking the walk, I have no doubt he’s the real deal. I also have no doubt he sucks, even with outside songwriters helping to beef up his sound and give the poor starving artist some hooks to go with his rhymes. I can rhyme, too. So can most 6-year olds. Doesn’t make them great artists. When they think it does, that’s called delusions of grandeur. So there’s one more thing Shady needs psychiatric attention for. Every critic seems to love him. Is that because he’s great, he’s white, he’s “real”, he’s better than friggin 3rd Bass? No, maybe/maybe not, yes, yes. Sorry, that’s not enough. And I don’t really have much sympathy for him, given that he seems to like to talk to and treat people the same way he was treated. That is, abusively. I mean, I personally don’t give a sh1t about Em’s opinions, so I’m not slamming him because I think he’s sexist or homophobic. I just think his music sucks, that’s all.
(“Stan”)
Grade: D
The Doors (1967)
Jim Morrison, a great artist? Well he certainly thought so. Look at the cover of this album and tell me someone doesn’t have delusions of grandeur or an overflow of pretentiousness. It’s as if the other members of the band are just secondary tools to be used for the Great One’s musical and lyrical visions. It just so happens, though, that Robbie Krieger is mostly responsible for the best song here, the epic “Light My Fire”. I’m not saying Morrison couldn’t write…I’m saying that the other members could too. That goes unnoticed when your lead singer inhabits the vocals the way Morrison can (that’s a compliment). Anyone who thinks this is a great, classic album has obviously not heard the entire thing; there are some truly boring moments, especially near “the end”.
(“Light My Fire”, “Break On Through”)
Grade: B
2010: Oops…I overlooked the songs they didn’t write.
Grade: B+
Waiting For The Sun (1968)
“Hello, I Love You” may be the most blatantly commercial song they’ve ever recorded. “Love Street” is a mildly tuneful exercise. Those are the first two songs. The rest is basically soft/love songs that are so sickeningly sweet they would be frown-producing if they weren’t so pitifully funny. This guy is a Rock God? I’ll take Robbie Krieger any day over the pretentious and overblown Morrison. I mean, if he wasn’t sexy I think they’d have quite a bit of difficulty pushing this horsesh1t on the poor poor pitiful public that is their fanbase.
Grade: D
2010: Not quite as nauseating as I had originally thought.
Grade: D+
Morrison Hotel (1970)
The first side is rock-solid and undeniable. The second side is forgettable and unnecessary. Morrison’s vocals throughout are right on the money. Soft, loud, louder…he’s got it all covered. This album actually rivals the quality of their debut.
(“Waiting For The Sun”, “Blue Monday”)
Grade: B
2010: The Lizard Elevating Moment.
Grade: B+
Greatest Hits (1996)
I’ve always liked The Doors, even though I’ve never really had much use for Jim Morrison the great poet. The Doors were not just Morrison, as a quick look at their songwriting credits will tell you (hello, Robbie Krieger). The Doors were good despite Morrison’s poetry, not because of. If there was one good thing Morrison was, it was a very good singer and (ok, two things) a confident, sexy, and commanding stage presence. Can’t argue much with these selections, although I do wish they could have squeezed “Waiting For The Sun” on the album. Nonetheless, a great album, well worth owning. And kudos for having the sense to rip ‘Hagakure’.
(“Break On Through”, “Light My Fire”, “Riders On The Storm”)
Grade: A
Violator (1990)
The only Depeche Mode non-compilation that I own, and for my purposes the only one that warrants any sort of individual consideration. I discovered this band by virtue of this album when I was but a wee one, and I should have stopped there, “Master and Servant” notwithstanding.
(“Enjoy The Silence”)
Grade: B-
The Singles 81-85 (1998)
I’ve never really liked too many mopey bands. That is to say, bands that are (or pretend to be) perpetually depressed instead of the far preferable perpetually angry. “Anger is an energy”, a wise man once said, and I agree. Anger fuels some of the best songs I’ve ever heard. Perpetually depressed I can like, but usually only when I understand what exactly they’re depressed about, or when they smother my objections with depressing vocal/musical hooks galore. Perpetually depressed WITHOUT hooks, without power chords, full of “feeling” but short on memorable tunes does very little for me. The Cure is my odious example of the kind of music I love to hate. How then can I like the Cowboy Junkies, you may ask? Well, their vocals are a lot better, and they’re more layered and gentle in the proper places. So after all is said and done, why do I rate this album so relatively high? Because there’s a little BDSM devil on every shoulder, myself included.
(“Master And Servant”)
Grade: C
The Singles 86-98 (1998)
Their last best-of, or should I say the companion piece to this one, spanned five years. This one spans thirteen. You’d like to think there would be more good music on this one. Early warning sign – a live version of one of “81-85″‘s songs in this songlist.
Grade: C-
Exposing The Sickness (2002)
I once had a girlfriend that really adored this group. She also really adored the lead singer, who happens to be female. But that’s beside the point. She played one of their (at the time) two albums for me. I actually liked it alright. We broke up, so I never got the chance to borrow it. So when it came time to buy it, I had two choices and I tested my luck. Either I was in a very good mood and feeling generous the first time I heard it, or this was the wrong choice.
Grade: D-
Pyromania (1983)
Harmless, catchy pop-metal at its finest when it works. Better than their first two albums combined, but not as good as ‘Hysteria’. The kind of “rebellious” music parents PRAY that their children gravitate towards.
(“Photograph”, “Foolin'”)
Grade: B
Hysteria (1987)
I loved 80’s pop-metal when it temporarily ruled the world, aided in no small part by the appeal and (dare I say) influence of this band. I turned my nose up at most of that kind of music when Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” debuted on MTV’s Headbanger’s Ball, and promptly kicked pop-metal’s collective a$$. So with that being said, only the strong survived from the pack of pop-metalists. This band survived the initial onslaught by virtue of this album and was one of the last of the dinosaurs to give up the ghost. A nice accomplishment. The songs are long, but for the first side and the title cut, that’s the way you want them. Impeccably crafted pop-metal product. Will it age well? So far, yes…but who can say?
(“Women”, “Rocket”, “Love Bites”)
Grade: B+
2010: Response to Def Leppard lyrics: “…what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent yelping were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this Earth is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.” But it SOUNDS good.
Grade: A-
11/18/16: Not really fair to insult this band’s lyrics when there’s a lot of other (mostly) meaningless pop sh1t I like that isn’t as good to listen to. The long songs are great when they’re good, but when they’re mediocre they’re tedious. Hence:
Grade: A-
